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Question #1188017679Saturday, 25-Aug-2007
Category: INFp ISTp Dating Advice Intertype Relations
I'm an infp woman interested in an istp guy.. i'm wondering how to proceed with the relationship at this point. i am pretty sure he is also interested, but i'm finding it difficult to decipher what is going on. at first he was very enthusiastic about spending time with me, but now i am the one doing all the inviting.. the only thing that has changed is that he has a new job that takes a lot of time and energy. however, i can't tell if that is why he is less available or what, because he is not communicating with me! any insights? -- infgirl
Your Answers: 1+
A1 Just say "super-ego" and look it up under Intertype Relations. As your supervisor, I think you're looking for a relationship to work out instead of a match. Does that work? -- - The Sum-Total ENTj
A2 I have the opposite problem; I'm an INFP & I've had an ISTP guy I'm trying to shake off! I find ISTPs very interesting & can't help but be attracted to them, but me & this ISTP guy want different things from life; I want the best that life can give me, he seems to just wants to get through life (or not). Also our beliefs are different and later down in the line I think I will feel compromised in my faith because of it. I also want something from a relationship that only an 'E' can give - and I suspect so does he whether he knows it or not, and although I'm probably more 'E' than him we're still both 'I's underneath. I think consciously or unconsciously I would probably try & change him (I might be now, even as a friend) into someone... happier, although I know I should only be showing the door, not pushing him through it! This guy you know might be finding you clingy, I think ISTPs are sensitive to that sort of thing because they're quite independent types in my experience. Like A1 says, 'super-ego' relations are pretty tricky. And leave it to the guy to do the pursuing, if you try & do it the other way round he'll probably run away! Give him some space, play hard to get & enjoy your environment & friends & he might start taking interest in you again. It works for me anyway! And I recommend you give your compatibility a lot of thought, it's easy to talk yourself into believing someone's perfect for you - I've done it myself - so it's good to be analytical sometimes. -- Dee INFP
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A3 I would say an ISTp who's not paying attention should be prompted. We're kinda impulsive (we prefer to use the term spontaneous) & prone to do what's right in front of us, so if you leave us alone, we're likely to fill our time with what's more convenient! I also want to mention that I married an INFP (MBTI, could be j or p in socionics), and that pairing did not work on several levels. Entire relationship lasted less than 3 years from first date to separation. So, this question intrigues me too, as I would dearly love to understand the dynamic. -- iAnnAu
A4 You need to understand something about ISTP's: when our energy is depleted, we absolutely need to be alone to replenish that energy. It's nothing against you, we require a great deal of space and that can be very confusing to any observer. Don't take it personally and by all means, don't rush the ISTP finish their recharge quickly or you will be met with the classic ISTP rage. You rush or push up my time lines and I will immediately re-evaluate the necessity of our relationship..... Hope this helps. - MWCOX -- Anonymous
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