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| Question #1187466381 | Saturday, 18-Aug-2007 |
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| Can someone please explain to me in simple laymans terms the achille's heel of an ENTP in terms of their feelings? -- anon |
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| A41 My take on ENTPs is that they absolutely and desperately need affection. This is not vanity. This is due to a social deficit and inability to generate initiative in ways which others WILL positively respond to (without them thinking the ENTP is coming off as "overly friendly", foolish, or out-of-bonds). ENTPs are among the most emotionally vulnerable of all types, if not the most. They are the most capable and in need of deep emotional ongoing physical presence and bonding - expect for their frequent intellectual and often isolated sojourns - yet by severe contrasts, they almost always feel like social outsiders. The level at which others relate is too emotionally shallow and superficial for the needs of ENTPs. ENTPs can feel as much as anyone else. But their feelings get exacerbated through an inability to properly handle them and effectively have their own needs and desires fulfilled. When they are calm, cool and rational, they get no response to their desires - only more demands. When they express their emotional sides, they are disrespected even more - the intellectual mystique (or incomprehensible fear) others have of them diminishes them to the size of a vulnerable mouse for the taking. ENTPs are so concerned with "justice and reason and fairness and well-being and happiness for all" that they leave their own desires by the wayside too much. Metaphorically speaking, if there is a cookie jar and the ENTP wants the type of cookie in that jar the MOST, they will work the hardest for it only to be beaten by everyone else grabbing them up and gobbling them while hardly noticing the flavor, or much caring, and the ENTP might get a few crumbs in the aftermath. Nevermind that the ENTP - once they KNOW what they truly what with all their being (the cookie was a superficial analogy here) - will remember and savor the taste of that "cookie" potentially for years, even decades. When all those who ate from the jar could've really cared less - their desires are so often fulfilled, they were readily onto the next one to compare sensations, have a moment and move on. ENTPs overall spend too much time respecting and honoring the desires of others while subjugating their own desires and well-being. This particularly lets the "pigs" of this world run wild with greed and exploitation, leaving the ENTp receives no reciprocation nor respect - only more emotional pain and injustice to deal with managing. ENTps inability to effectively focus on their own priorities and assert their own personal feeling needs and desires in a way in which they are also treated as fellow human beings, altogether takes what would be the NORMAL feeling level for most people, and explodes that potentiality a thousandfold due to denials, suppressions and repressions. Meaning, the ENTP can be so thoroughly accustomed to self-denial, feeling like **** and not getting what they want in life, internally acting forever as the great unseen, unappreciated benefactor for others while consistently being depleted and taken advantage of upon any ploy of personal sympathy or sign of weakness/need in another. In time, the ENTP they might see the injustice being done to themselves - the lack of reciprocity - the incredible lack of loyalty for all the headaches they've taken on and respect they've given others which included self-sacrifices - yet cannot formulate a new logical strategy. This is because at this point, they have already built up an internal response method which ignores self-interest and needs to the point where even when they assert their desires and needs, they are constantly denied. Furthermore, they do have an aspirational humanitarian sense of compassion (ala INFJ Supervisor). But they consistently fail to realize that unfortunately, most of the world does not abide by their ideals and will not reciprocate THEIR brand of ethics (vs ISFJs). The reality is, the world operates its practical ethics on always doing good for oneself FIRST before anyone else is considered. ENTPs seem to outwardly degenerate even further into robots, as far as others are concerned, who cannot emotionally connect (because the deficits and needs accumulated have become so great they overwhelm themselves AND others). Without a close dual partner with whom they have bonded from early in life, the ENTPs experience such a subjective deficit in experiencing even basic forms of emotional joy, pleasure, and happiness - feelings which they cannot generate for themSELVES (unless based on beautiful theoretical concepts - but this is a different brain chemistry altogether) - they can go through life emotionally starved beyond the comprehension of most people. And yet, because of their theoretical ideals they are capable of adopting, they will continue to serve and try to esteem others, forgive their faults, etc. UNTIL proven that - once again - they were fools for trusting. They cannot judge character rightly. Others consistently let them down and do not see how this non-idealism and low level of human functioning requires a lot more "love" and "grace" from the ENTP than people naturally reward each other, with others being on the SAME level of more realistic, easy expectations. Society pressures ENTPs constantly to connect with and trust others, to open themselves up and become vulnerable. Yet the repeated pattern is for ENTPs to give and get nothing in return save for the knowledge that someone else has been made happy (at their own expense). Others take all the good ideas, gifts, ingenious solutions, advice, insights, fantastical amusements, benevolent care and fairmindedness for the group/whole that ENTPs commit to, only to consistently screw the ENTP in the end with ABSOLUTELY NOTHING - like the ENTP is truly a self-sufficient god only there for the taking. The typical ENTP on the job is one on whom all the problems fall, others envy when they demonstrate their competence, and to get paid less than everyone else and treated like a superhero-istic anomaly who doesn't deserve that particular day off work, as requested for the 1st time in the last two years, because they are "not human." After all, ENTPs are expected to be Gods - all respectful, giving of solutions, with no needs of their own. "God" indeed has a powerful capacity to generate PURE value for others which resolves problems, innovates, makes life easier and more interesting for everyone, while always taking care not to hurt others (UNLESS WRONGED). That same anthropomorphic god is also incredibly lonely and in desperate need of affection, attention, and appreciation - especially physical expressions of this sort, yet people like to complain, e.g., why the local church would even have the gall to ask for offerings to operate this heavenly facility on earth which they frequent, even though they get the same damn utility and maintenance bills as everyone else. -- Anonymous |
| A42 A41, thank you for that write-up. I'm fairly new to researching my type (entp) and you, as well as many previous posters have described my existence with awesome accuracy. It's good to hear I'm not alone! -- Anonymous |
| A43 to A33: Funny you and your girl are both ENTp! Guess what? Same here ... for three years and a bit running now. Why is everyone looking for a kind of complementary type to their own when one can have a supplement of him/herself? Leave the rest to the rest of the world to give to you. Relationships will never give you everything. I have come to the conclusion as an ENTp that I love myself enough to project the same love on to someone else who loves themselves as intensely and will just intuitively get it that my loving her is a way of loving myself and my loving myself is a way of loving her. It seems crazy to everybody else. Bunting is not uncommon. Crazy, silly, witty and seriously edgy teases and jokes that would kill any F just by knowing such ruthless teasing exist are our daily bread. It is so much better to be yourself and to know that, should you run out of energies, someone else JUST LIKE YOURSELF will take over from there. Funny enough, she is the only person I can sit next to, be touchy feely (WEIRD if you ask me!) and be even silent for hour and not feel like I miss talking. It is not unusual for her to say "I know you think I want you to be romantic now, but guess what; I don't care-less for romance now"... only for me to reply, "what a relief!" and then enter the silence. Of course we come around to discuss and debate the silence for days afterwards (lol). The day-to-day? They run soooooo effortlessly. Yes we are mystery even to the nearest people to us... but that just gives us the kick to go on.... and try to explain the whole thing to the pitiable F's out there. And they cannot believe that we even kiss in public - All calculated and and yet spontaneous, and yes, all so intense. The sweetest thing she ever said was, "I looked at you and knew that I want to be a part of reproducing that man there.... of course as I reproduce myself" Weird? I think it's sweet. I guess it came from knowing that we are both ENTp to realise that one of us just has to go on and touch or we will live as though in cubicle in the same room. And taking that risk is good for the soul, the body and the mind. It is like being stroked straight from your brain. Oh, and we can dance a storm too - salsa and other latin and american dances, she does some mean belly dance. She also runs and we play tennis. Of course we love clubbing and club music and shooter while discussing the latest theories on any given front. I go for the supplement relationship (socionics mistakenly calls it identicals ... identiticals do not exist in reality)... they give you more of the same. And if you have no problem with the same (that changes all the time) then... why not? ENTp's do not really have a problem with more and more! Our Achilles heel? We love ourselves, but we know that this is considered by many to be a bad thing. so we keep this secret from others and find it hard to believe that anybody ever really can love us as we love ourselves... until you meet the one that has been thinking these things and who is tired of living in that box. From then on, oooooohhhhh what rest! ... I've been enjoying my life like never before! -- ENTp in love with ENTp |
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| A44 A41: You know my world inside out! Right down to God and irrationality of fellow worshipers in the local church! Where do you come from? -- Anonymous |
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