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Question #1187009602Monday, 13-Aug-2007
Category: INTj INTp Intertype Relations Relationship IXTx women
I am friends with a iNTp and im iNTj. what would be the best way to get her to open up to me with what she really things and feels? -- nozeral42285
Your Answers: 1+
A1 estrogen, you would have to trust that she succumbs in disgust in her intuition, so-that she'd want a standard -judgement life./amen -- amen ssod
A2 It will take a lot of time. I have a close INFP friend who took a long time to become comfortable around me. At first it was me who carried conversations and did the talking, but once it became evident that we shared a similar outlook he opened up. Eventually she will become comfortable with sharing her deeper thoughts as you show her that you'll listen and understand her point of view (which, as an INTP female, is frequently misunderstood). But it will take time. Don't force her and make sure that you're taking things at a pace comfortable to her. -- Nada (INFJ)
A3 Easy way to distinguish INTps from INTjs. INTp: It's good enough. INTj: What's "enough"? -- Anonymous
A4 I suppose I should explain further: Opp. temp. INTs will have similar topics of discussion, but different modes of approach. INTps will try to slice away what they think is the "first premise" in an argument. This may cause them to jump from topic to topic during a debate when "they" consider their opponent's points appropriately "addressed." An INTj on the other hand will analyze the points made, providing counters for each, and often be seen as "painfully exhaustive" in debate. By analogy, consider the difference between the rowdy private (ISTp) and an army barracks quarter-master (ISTj). How would they "get along?" -- Anonymous
A5 A4, the analogy you made between the ISTP and ISTJ is flawed since the personality types are seperated by NT, NF, SP, SJ. In this case it's 2 NT's while your comparison is between an SJ and SP. The first part about the difference between INTP's and INTJ's in debate is fairly correct from my experience. -- Anonymous
A6 @A5, are you speaking in terms of MBTI or socionics? -- Anonymous
A7 @A3, awesome response. @A4, how the great-gad-gallyhooks is this question related to the original?! @original question: Guessing that trying to get your quasi-identical to start a romantic relationship with you is the underlying concern. My intuition tells me that you two might not be quasi-identical but mirrors, perhaps of varying subtypes, which could make you feel a bond which you wonder may be worth exploring. However, in my experience, these relations are one-sided when it comes to romantic interest. Or, the timing is usually on-off. There is no emotional SYNC that can be found (among such NTs). Honestly, I think it's better to seek an SF to bring more balance into your life, and keep your NT friend as your lovable NT friend, but that's just my personal opinion. But if you wrote the above question merely because you are trying to counsel your friend rather than romanticize your relationship, my apologies for the previous diversionary advice. Not sure how you would accomplish that. -- Anonymous
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A8 INTp is very shy and reserved, and honestly, it just takes time; you need to learn how to appeal to INTps inner mind and gain their respect and trust. By learning what it is that INTP respects and trusts you can learn to establish common ground upon which you can build an intimate trust and openness for one another. Hope this helps. -- Marty/ENFP
A9 Time, as everyone has stated, is the best way to get an INTP to open up. But there are some other things you can do. If you want to know what your INTP feels about something, just ask her. He are happy to be asked our opinion and asking intelligent questions is a good way to get us to open up. But make sure you share something first. We are often hesitant to mention our feelings on something if no one else has mentioned something first, because we like information to help us gauge the mood, since we find it pretty difficult otherwise. But don't be surprised if we say something rather dramatic in a very matter-of-fact, dispassionate way. I know I often say things like "I'm very mad" or "that makes me really angry" with my family, because I know if I don't say it, no one would be able to tell from my expression or tone. If she says she feels a certain way, even if she doesn't look like she does, then she does. Though as an INTJ I'll bet you have a bit of that yourself. -- An INTP female
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