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| Question #1182262756 | Tuesday, 19-Jun-2007 |
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| I'm an INTJ and I am everything that generally describes an INTJ person. I've been aware that I'm INTJ for years and been pushing myself to be extrovert but always find it overwhelming to talk about my private life to others. My interests always are so different from everyone else's around me and it's hard to converse with people even if we both try to have a conversation. I get jealous of and ****ed off at people who can go on and on about their lives and just talk about stupid things. Other people seem to make friends with each other so easily. Do all INTJs struggle with this kind of problem? -- Crystal Bent |
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| A11 i'll start off from the cuff, and if i like what comes out i might actually find time to read the rest of these posts and see how opinions are twisted...unless most of these guys have normalized themselves.(that's the territoriality of the NT, unleast one who has'ent learnt manners in the appropriate realm yet like me, or rather, somebody so strong as to beat me has not come up yet). the idiots who would self compare INTPs to INTJs on scales of 'self-revelance' are wrong. they miss the point...most other observational and comparitive strategies also miss the point. The observation comes from a wrong 'hypothesis of value' axis. therefore A3 is provisionally wrong..& i can't agree with his method,..understand this, if u felt he had an edge as an INTP, he would have flaunted it in your face, if not, he would have caused shame to us... and the practicallity, is that such measures of advantage or disadvantage miss the point.. only inlays of comparitive 'position and strategy' work. that said, i am going to (i am intp, & i thought of destroying an intp) come out against the ISTPs. i did not read iAnnAu, but got some from A6, and realized this error. read A6... what u see is that here you find 'journey men' in life, who historize a history of finding themselves in appropriate social circles...against but then in. It's fine for them.. there second vector is S...and it is certain that despite there shared social ineptitude similar to INTJ and INTP, that they would in any case strive to MAKE A RECONCILING history. And i have come to realise that i can't be bought with this... My history is wholely N, i see my eyes and ears as only possessing that, and would thus preceive to make a new and overalling world view on these matters. Miss INTJ, u have already seen advise which self-limits u on evaluative axis of value (like why talk). u in this social circumstance, and preceive only brightness for the social, as such your eyes are wholey focused in on that one characteristic which is whole-heartedly and self-produced by your Socionic Psychology... an INTJ characture of silence. Let me add this, as far as action values go, u are not working optimally with a very bright motor. Preceive first all actions in this world, in there total necassity... this will appear to u as INT vectorized things. Second, u control your timing by a measure of spontaneity.. your J vector. then u will see the value of being demi-god like. why worry about this. so long INTJ and INTP have been the refuse of the earth...everyone belittles us for what is never the accusation of any other type...that accusation of social ineptitude and poverty. why not be bright. if idiots want to hunt me on my blind spot.. my social ineptness, then i will return an eye for an eye, there blind spot is not that specifically, but is much more closely linked with producing there livelihood...would they still want to level opinions that cost nothing for them, when i can overcome them, and then from pure revenge take all of theres? (that is the hidden cost, but u don't see that, unless economic measures crash in a country...but still why does society try and ransom what is a basic human right for me, i am no animal, and happiness should not be so central on my consciousness - happy for crachers? i think not). that said. be-careful miss INTJ, that INTPs as a whole are really ahead of your peoples game. A6 was immature. there are other INTPs who relish choas, and would love the blindness of people who should be blind anyway. this is why i urge and warn u guys that u should really come in tune with your J, for the INTPs P is congruent with any measure of choas (a P thing again), it is a soon used mask. that is why i urged another INTJ male to find war for his hands, for the only healthy INTJ i know, my cousin, had a developmental process whereby he began playing the game with the right balls. Notice the philosophy of this post... i did not advocate actions u can do, did not try and comfort u, or tell u to not do this or that....all such phrases in this are for u to shift your consciousness, for once it is shift, u may choose your own actions. -- @sirac |
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A12 Guys, much respect to ya'll, esp. those who don't tolerate gossips. A small talk is a thing one can learn if trying hard, but rumours go far, and that's what I personally despise in ppl. Mind your own business, at least once in a while!  -- Anonymous |
| A13 Hmmm ... sirac ... we're not gonna read a new story about you up in some clock tower with a rifle any time soon, are we? just kidding ... still, you've been heavy with using the word war lately, as well as more openly antagonistic in your general rhetoric - and yet you imply that you're going somewhere with this thrust. Having observed that you simply don't get to the point in any succinct fashion, I'm still gonna ask: Where you going with this, dude? (And just to be a tad antagonistic back: if/when you write your manifesto, try to use full sentences!!!);) -- iAnnAu |
| A14 Can't an INTj just say what they think, if they don't like saying how they feel? I've been pleasantly suprised when I say what I want, even if it seems not to fit into the flow of the conversation. Sometimes people need an invitation to be their (weird) true selves. -- learning |
| A15 a14.... if someone whose an introvert just dont work that way... i really dont like it when people tells other to be more outgoing... it's worse than telling some extrovert to shut up -- xNxJ |
| A16 I am an introvert and I think it's good for me to be more outgoing sometimes. And maybe I'd just like to hear what other people, introverts included, have to say. -- leearning |
A17 A16, can I ask why you think it would be good to be more outgoing sometimes? I have had a similar issue, but have found that it doesn't do me any real favours in the long run.. I just be who I am..People have more respect for me that way..and it is easier for me that way also. In terms of outgoingness..If I've got things in common then the conversation will be plenty..But my general demeanour is to be slightly reserved. There's people out there who value that in a person, as there is people out there who value the gag a minute man..Remember still waters run deep! (And besides..if your looking to attract a partner..esp your dual..best they are attracted to who you are and not a projection, I reckon) Does this make sense ? (I really should learn to re-draft haha  ) -- Cyclops |
| A18 I think ESTp would encourage me to be more outgoing, to push myself more and put my myself (my words, work, art, etc.) out into the world more. Plus, it's unsatisfying to have something to say and not say it because I think others will not understand. I guess if you're satisfied not talking, then you're doing fine to keep what you have to say to yourself. Except (!), what if someone else would really like to hear what you have to say? What if you could change someone's life with your words, but you assumed they wouldn't understand? This sounds romantic, but I believe, as I read in my enneagram book, that human beings are gifts to each other. -- learning |
| A19 Wow, I've taken different personality tests & they usually come out INTJ & INFJ. I can definitely relate to your frustration with "smalltalk". I've gotten discouraged at times when I feel "odd" because I'd rather have "in depth" conversations (even at social gatherings) than go on about things that are less consequential. There are some books & articles,though, that are aimed at helping introverts who want to become more extroverted (should you be interested). I can't think of specific titles at the moment except for a site by Brian Kim (briankim.net). -- Anonymous |
| A20 A18, if there are people who dont understand, then that could be due to differences in type information exchange. If I am able to connect with someone, the conversation will flow. If I am unable to connect, then moving above idle 'hello' 'how you doing etc' will prove tiring and non-fufulling (why through time, keep flogging a dead horse ?). If anything maybe you are better suited to this occurance, being introverted, and therefore able to provdide support to your dual, who needs external contact,as per their hidden agenda, which is to be loved ? -- Cyclops |
| A21 If my deductions are right (that you are female), from what I've read that can be even more daunting at times due to how rare it is(0.5% of population, if that's accurate). That's meant to be an encouragement to you, in that it "makes sense" for you to feel frustrated & perhaps misunderstood. (Sometimes when things make sense, they're easier to cope with.) I'm an introvert myself (~55-70%); and although it's very challenging at times, knowing even a few introverts I can have more meaningful conversations with can be a comfort (even if the topic isn't one that particularly excites me). Perhaps networking your interests, and social networking can be done seperately for a time so that those needs can be met seperately. You may very well end up finding a friend who both shares your interests & enjoys deep conversation. -- Anonymous |
| A22 There is a human need to make conversation, be it about "real" topics or just everyday nothingness. As I get older I discover the majority of humans do not like to face "real" things and therefore fill the need to talk with "nothing" topics. I have managed to win over a few people who try hard to discuss things I am interested in with me and they do okay. They can't do it very often as it is out of their comfort zone, but some will do it sometimes which I appreciate. I've found the approach I use often influences some of the people around me. Remember - every action has a reaction. Don't stress too much as it will happen as you meet more people in life and as you try out different approaches. Take care fellow INTJ -- Anonymous |
| A23 A22- Great comment. -- Anonymous |
| A24 @A18:"Except (!), what if someone else would really like to hear what you have to say? What if you could change someone's life with your words, but you assumed they wouldn't understand?" And instead, what if they are just going to turn the information you give to them against you? -- INTp |
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