| Socionics Personals |  | Female
Straight
16-25
Oceania
Libra
ENFj |
|  | Male
Straight
16-25
Middle East
Sagittarius
INTj |
|  | Male
Straight
26-35
North America
Pisces
INXj |
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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1181471453 | Sunday, 10-Jun-2007 |
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| Greetings, I would like to know if an INTj and ENFj relationship can succeed. The reason I ask is because I am an INTj and theoretically the ESFj should be most compatible, but I find this type to be intellectually unsatisfying. The ENFj, on the otherhand, is an Intuitive. I am especially interested in hearing from INTjs and ENFjs. -- Peter |
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| A30 I am an INTJ female married to ENFJ male for five years, dated for three before that. We struggle. There are things I love and things I hate, although I feel if I could just crack his code, I'd learn to love those things,too. Surely, I think our relationship can work. Things I hate: He is so sensitive. I never know what his reaction will be to anything. He says things to "pander" to me. Which I hate, so I never know if he really wants to vacation in Tulsa... or if he is going to get passive aggressive once we get there because I "should have known" he would rather go to Salt Lake City. I think being an INTJ female makes things especially complicated, because he wants to be the traditional male figure head, make the big decisions and have a subservient, doting wife. I have a hard time keeping quiet when I think his decisions are faulty, or letting him dictate what I can and cannot do. I find his always and nevers frustrating, and his blanket judgments about other people that he makes with very little basis, except his "gut" exasperating. As the years wear on, he has become more manipulative and I'm certain that it is a direct result of my not responding appropriately to his needs, particularly for affection and affirmation. I often feel like I'm living with a volcano, only worse, because at least science had ways of predicting eruptions... I have no way of knowing which days he will be volatile. But, to be certain that I am not being too one-sided, there are SO many things I love about my ENFJ: First, he is so thoughtful and considerate, remembers every anniversary and birthday and celebrates them elaborately and with complete selflessness, he worships me in public and thinks I'm smart and talented. As an INTJ, I love the challenges he presents me with, I love telling him all the potential I see in him and imagining all of his amazing whims and ideas coming to fruition. He compliments me well, keeps me grounded and in the here and now when I get lost in my world of projects and ideas. We're still young, and I am hoping that we find ways to have more of the good moments and fewer of the tense ones. -- Anonymous |
| A31 I am a INTJ Male in a relationship with a ENFJ female. And to be honest we work so well together is uncanny. We finish each others thoughts. We always have each others back and like A25 together were unstoppable. We have had some commutation issues in the past but we have and are over coming them. She always knows when to give me my space. And she also know when to come crashing in on it. She always interest me to no end and I keep her on her toes intellectually. -- Anonymous |
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| A32 As much as I enjoy psychology and the answers it can provide, relationships cannot be defined solely based on categorized personalities. I am an ENFJ currently dating an INTJ. It's been over 3 & 1/2 years together and we're still standing strong. I think the key to staying together is merely wanting to stay together. Sounds naive, I know, but it's true. The biggest issue I face with my INTJ, is his inability to understand my emotions. Since I am ENFJ, I can instantly tune into his and in turn help him work through whatever he needs (if he accepts my help, given his proneness to independence). The opposite occurs when I'm upset. He cannot see my feelings easily, and when I express them I do so bluntly so he can see them clearly. Even so, there are times that even though I've explained my problems, he doesn't seem to acknowledge them. Together, we've learned how to deal with each other's styles. My INTJ is improving his empathy and how to correct certain things he does that I find offensive, and I provide him with independence in his emotional matters, except when he asks for help. Aside from our Myer-brigs personality assessments, we have a lot of commonalities, like hobbies, food tastes, and religion, so we definitely enjoy each other's company. And we also have differences that make us appreciate the other. I.E. I am an exceptionally good writer, whereas he is excellent in sciences. I help him write exciting and catchy essays, and he explains the purpose and process of balancing chemical equations. -- ENFJ dating INTJ |
A33 Being an intellectual has NOTHING to do with  vs  , so the proposal to pick an ENFj over an ESFj because of "intellect" is totally invalid. You can find intelligent people of all types. If you haven't found intellectual ESFjs, you're not looking hard enough. -- trav1s |
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