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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1180025174 | Thursday, 24-May-2007 |
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| I am an ENTj and I want to know What is the my weaknesses that makes ISTp be my supervisor, since I am dating an ISTp now -- Anonymous |
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| A1 ISTp are very aware of the details of the world around them, excellent at solving practical day-to-day problems while ENTj are a big picture people who can ignore details that can get them into a lot of trouble. Any advice on or help with details will usually be valuable to ENTj. Some ENTj may resent being around non-productive ISTp while the ISTp may view ENTj as a money-grubbing control freaks that need to be brought down to earth and relax. -- I/O |
| A2 I don't take kindly to ENTJs so feel free to ignore my post here. I am an ISTP and the only people who have made my life a living hell were ENTJs. They really enjoyed telling me what to do and how to think, but in the most aggressive, demeaning and chaotic manner. Yet they expected a thank you after the fact. It also appeared that they did not want anyone around them to ever be happy or settled. Somehow ENTJs appear to be happiest when they are surrounded by chaos and miserable people. Correct me if I'm wrong. I wanted to mention all of this because I, as an ISTP, truly feel we are the only personality type who can keep ENTJs from destroying their surroundings and relationships. ISTPs can be quite calm in the most chaotic situations. Hence the reason we make good EMTs. While an ENTJ is out there stirring things up to get people to fall in line better, it is the ISTP who can stand there and quietly say “no”. Inside the ISTP may be furious, but we can read right through ENTJs and isolate their weakness. You can tell me if this is true or not, but I think over time ENTJs come to respect ISTPs for standing up to them. The answer to your question is built within the framework of your question. It sounds like you are trying to find that one thing that does not allow your personality to control the ISTP you are with. I hate to break it to you, but you will never find it. Your weakness, as you call it, cannot be defined as a single item. Your weakness will be spotted by the ISTP in each situation before you have a chance to control it. If you want the relationship to work, be grateful you are with someone who can perpetually prevent you from hurting others around you. Be grateful you are with someone who can readjust your paradigm regularly so you have a happy, productive life. -- an ISTP |
| A3 I would like to add that the functions of an ENTJ can project an air of conflict with that of the ISTP's functions. This can cause a deal of anxiety for both the ENTJ or ISTP if one doesn't have any experiences with the contrasting functions. For example, the inherent transient character of the ENTJ can cause chaos for the inherent conservative character of the ISTP. You should already know that. Anyways don't take any of the logic above seriously, but do heed the emotions expressed. ENTJ never rest but they can appear more pacified by spending more time to introspect and doing things alone. Usually the ENTJs that **** off people including me, an ENTJ, are the ones that do not spend time with themself. This is my 2 cents. Whatever happens, just be acceptable and know that when an ISTP goes on a raging fit, give them a hug. -- Anonymous |
| A4 I once dated an ENTJ and it was great....for a while. After a few months he started to try and control every aspect of my life and tell me that everything I said was wrong. I responded by turning off my cell phone and taking more hiking trips alone. It ended when I left the country and he found someone else who he could control. I'm not saying that every ISTP-ENTJ relationship will end that way, but I don't think I could enjoyably date an ENTJ for more than 3 weeks ever again. -- Anonymous |
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| A5 I have to agree with the aboves - once they have destroyed everyone around them and I make my disapproval aware in a calm way, they start to go on looking for sympathy about some corny sentimental thing. Don't want to make light of their issues-but why should I listen to someone who wants an ear after causing so much thoughtless destruction to others? As an ISTp I like to give everyone their chance to be their own people with respect, then an ENTj comes along and bullies and embarrasses people-and even make their jobs hell if the mood takes them. I have thought that the ones I have met have had a lack of education maybe not their fault but just brought up wrong, but are they all like that? -- ISTp |
| A6 In my opinion, a good ISTp friend is an excellent thing to have. One of my best friends from school is an ISTp. We had a lot of friends and interests in common so generally we got along very well. When things started to go wrong, the situation (according to me) was, "You're refusing to deal with me because you don't like how I'm acting, but why should I take you seriously? You don't care about why I'm angry, so clearly you're not taking me seriously. Why should I stop what I'm doing if you're going to be unfair like that?" See the problem? At the time I wasn't spending any time alone and my Ni was basically void. It's helpful to see how the ISTp grounds him/herself by spending time alone, and you'll get along better if you don't require them to say any more than, "Get help, dude, because you're wrong," or something like that. -- ENTj |
| A7 As an ENTJ (female) dating a ISTP (male), I don't believe there is one specific weakness that an ISTP can expose but rather I have a whole assortment of thoughts like "Hmm, I never really thought about it that way, thanks." I definitely recommend spending time alone, especially Ni time. This helps me get a better grip on things. ISTP have mood shifts (usually it means they need alone time). If my extraverted thinking is in power mode, I don't handle that situation well. But when I recognize that just like him, I should be having some introspective time, I don't go on an ENTJ power trip. I have found over time, after having many ENTJ friends that some are on a crusade to control the world (or at least the world that revolves around them) and combined with an intense quest for knowledge and understanding (especially interpersonal stuff) this can create a lot of drama. Also some ENTJ are wound too tight because of the need for planning, organization, structure, etc. That will never work with a "go with the flow" ISTP. Take a deep breath, relax the routine and enjoy a little spontaneity. Here is an example of an ENTJ and ISTP interaction. Last night, we were riding in the car and he asked me a straight forward "yes or no" question and for some reason, I spilled a whole back story about three different phone messages in classic "I am right and everyone else is wrong, ENTJ style." He paused and said in a calm unassuming tone, "thanks but I didn't need to hear a drama saga." I paused and thought, "hmm, that was a lot of drama that was completely irrelevant to the question, a simple yes would have worked." And we didn't get into a fight but I certainly could have picked a fight and told him that I thought he was an inconsiderate jerk and what I was saying was imporant to me. Maybe my weakness in that situation was that I wanted someone to know and acknowledge my irritation with the phone messages. And fortunately for me, he squashed the stupid drama. From A2: "ENTJs come to respect ISTPs for standing up to them." Yes. Most definitely. -- Anonymous |
| A8 ENTJs are funny as hell, I get a long with some ENTJs just as some ENTJs get along with some ISTPs. Not all are the same, but the ones that I enjoy communicating with are the politically or drama anal types. They just love blabbing! -- ISTP |
A9 I am an ENTJ, we are the rarest type of the "Jung Personality Types". I admit we are controlling and demanding but that is only because we have a strong will and are never intimidated by anyone. We respect people who stand up to themselves, since it is our motto to be outspoken and assertive. Remember we are extroverts who love to have fun and be around all types of people. Alot of my friends find me to appear too strong since I never allow an issue to not be confronted but in the end it always pays off. So the one tip is be direct and honest and an ENTJ will always appreciate you.  -- Anonymous |
| A10 Haha, if you are an ENTJ then you are truly the RAREST! [/sarcasm] -- Anonymous |
| A11 ENTJ's are not the rarest, actually it's the INFJ. Helloooo A9 but being controlling and demanding are not healthy attitudes. Do you like being treated as such? So why would you believe this is an acceptable way to think or behave towards others? I think your perpective on what's acceptable is skewed. If you didn't feel intimidated then you would have no need to be controlling...think about it. -- Anonymous |
| A12 I believe that the main reason some entj's and istp's don't get along is because most istp's have a live and let live attitude. Basically we won't bother you if you don't bother us. The cardinal sin against an istp is trying to control them. While most of us won't make a fuss the first time but calmly say "no".Repeated infractions however will be met with an angry explosion, thus the saying "watch out for the quiet ones". So to answer the original question just go with the flow and don't try to control him. -- an istp |
A13 I am an ENTj - almost ENTp I can handle ISTp by handling everyone around them then the group dynamics kick in and either of two things happen: someone gets them to do what I want voluntarily or they go with the flow because they dont want to get into an argument with everyone over me  I have a keen sense of ppl and I know my urge to control things however its always in the best interest of the group relationships are a whole different matter it will take you a lot of time to figure out a way to control them....you probably never will but you can achieve some goals by going the opposite direction: control by not controlling them and trying to stay neutral when they are obviously doing mistakes. show understanding and offer your help next time when a similar situation arises with reference to "what they already screwed up" and then they are more willing to listen to advice tough but not impossible you will have to tune down a lot of your urges wait your moment and make them feel guilty wearing their stubbornness down  -- Anonymous |
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