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Question #1177616185Thursday, 26-Apr-2007
Category: ENTp Hidden Agenda
How do ENTps experience their hidden agenda? Why is it so hard for them to "be loved"? Also, how do ENTp-ISFp relationships tend to develop, particularly when the ENTp is a woman and ISFp, a man? -- anonymous
Your Answers: 1+ 19+ 30+ 41+ 47+
A41 I have to navigate a minefield of assumptions and judgments in order to complete even an a somewhat altruistic task. Example: My company has had to downsize and workloads have become insane. Morale around me is being badly impacted which is impacting me. I pick up these vibes and they have an emotional impact on me. Its like detecting poison in your environment and realizing its in your system too. If you were the only person around who could neutralize that poison, would you not feel obligated to at least try especially when it helped a lot more people than just you? So I develop a vaccine for this poison. It's a system that reduces your workload in half which has an interface designed to look the same documents you used to work on but now there are all kinds of things going on in the background doing your work for you. You give this vaccine as a gift to management because you know you technically never had permission to do it and you did it on your own time. You downplay the time it took because even if they let you do it, they would have tried to give input and you were following a vision and didn't want their input. It wasn't required because you anticipated what they didn't know they needed. So my biggest hidden agenda was I just wanted autonomy to do what I knew needed to be done because my job was becoming a miserable place to be daily. People are unlikely to 'just have faith' you know what you are doing long term. I mean would you let a hospital orderly into the lab to develop a vaccine just because they said they could do it? If you did, would you not be scrutinizing and worrying every time one of their experiments failed adding completely unneeded pressure with your negative vibes? When I've done this, I have gotten bonuses but that's not why I did it. I have had to face ramifications from jealous staff or those who think you are out to get their jobs when you were the one person actually interested in making their lives easier. Despite the bad, I still get more good out of it and I can't let people with poisoned minds guide me. My managers are pleased. Some of my co-workers are not. Some may ask me how I built the system. If I told them what I really did, it sets an unfair bar and precedent for everyone. 1. Managers may start to load additional work on me because they think I'm willing to work free overtime for just anything. 2. My Co-workers could resent me for setting the precedent of working for free to do a better job. It creates a performance bar they may not be able to meet due to their obligations. 3. Some employees may start to sabotage me by being uncooperative or spreading untrue gossip. 4. Some employees will think I'm gunning for their job 5. Some employees are just insecure or incompetent and I become a huge threat to them impacting their ability to treat me professionally. I try to downplay and hide a lot of the things I do because I will have people leaping to all kinds of inaccurate judgments and interfering in my productivity if I don't. My hidden agenda is that I'm constantly having to adapt to everyone else. I have to protect myself from their inaccurate assumptions about my behavior. -- Anonymous
A42 A41 is such an astoundingly accurate and well written response. It would be awesome to see this copied as an article and moved into that section so that people would gain insight into some of the unnecessary misery they give ENTPs, how much eggshell walking and ducking they have to do and how much justice they endure just to try and survive with the rest of them. -- Anonymous
A43 I dont believe ENTp's don't express their feelings properly. I think ENTP's express their issues with others but because ENTP's are blunt and direct others don't get the message. They see the expression of feeling as aggression. Therefore when it finally hits them it's too late because the ENTP could care less and have already moved on. Hence why people say ENTP's are sooo independent. ENTP's are independent and removed from other people emotionally because when they express their emotions people dont actually listen to what they are saying but instead react to the way it is said or JUDGE them. Because they can't handle the intensity at which the ENTP communicates the ENTP shrugs them off and distances him/herself from these people bc these people will never truly and DEEPLY understand them. This is where lack of trust and communication stems from. How can you expect the ENTP to trust you when you so quickly JUDGE?? Then when the ENTP distances themselves or leaves the relationship it's their fault for not being emotionally open?? People are backwards. Don't ask someone to open up to you if you are going to take that information and misconstrue it or judge it. The less you judge the more an ENTP will open up to you with their emotions and feelings. Trust me -ENTPfemale -- ENTPfemale
A44 @A33: funny you should say that....lol. I found love in another ENTp and everything you say is oh so true. Worry is banned and nothing is threatened. We just get each other intuitively... almost psychically, though neither of us believe in such things. I'm not looking for her to solve my problems and neither does she look for that from me... perhaps because we are ENTps and we are prone to thinking that we can solve our own (theoretical) problems alone?! And anyway, it is too much to ask one person to solve all my problems. I have friends, collegues, family, strangers and even enemies to solve gajillion other problems. But what I look for in love is simply that, love. And I found someone who has been looking for the same thing. We are supplementary, if I may say so. Not complementary, that would be plain boring and sometimes plain boring and threatening, especially if it means stepping on my vulnerable traits. Funny how much looking for love meant loving myself in her and her loving herself in me. -- Anonymous
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A45 Yes. I agree with the "other people are difficult" thing. One of the reasons I don't share my emotions? Well, let's say that there is someone who thinks that the reason I am talking so much in class (I don't, I have social anxiety, we'll see why) is because I think that I am BETTER than everyone else and don't think that anyone else's opinion matters. Of course, my real motivation is "Oooh! Interesting!" So, they start making fun of me, and I get angry. Guess what? These attackers FEED off of it. I have gotten so full of rage when I am confronted by attackers... I've even CRIED... NOTHING will stop them. They enjoy it. They like the power over ENTPs. I don't know why this is. I don't know why they do it. I think that it might be because the ENTP cares so much about what other people think of them, their extreme reactions feed the bullies. If I expressed pain, I doubt that I would get any mercy. If anything, the bullies would know that they hit their target. I am fine with direct anger at me, but... when people start to suggest that there is something wrong with me, or get together in groups to laugh at me... I LOSE it. It makes me feel like a worthless buffoon who is beneath them all. I grew up with a friend who I later found out was my supervisor. She always made me feel this way. Rolling her eyes at me... I BULLIED A KID because she was doing it and I wanted to impress her! I mean, I don't think I noticed it at the time, but I think the only reason I did it was her. I felt so hurt when the boy I was bullying walked away from me after I hit down his legos! If only I knew WHY people hate ENTPs so much. I played this stupid sarcastic victim part for so long... "What? But that's totally unfair! How can I get in trouble for getting punched in the face?!!!?!?!!!!!!!" authority figure Man. Life isn't fair, people hate me when I rarely have malicious intentions. -- Anonymous
A46 I'm a male ENTp and I don't know if I agree with all this deceptiveness tagged to us. Yes, I am random, and yes my ideas are radical, but I would never strike out against someone I think values me. I do seek approval but I seek to leave a good mark on my name much more. After I get to know someone and accept them as a good friend I'll stop caring about how my actions will affect their opinions toward me, which I think is my biggest weakness. I haven't had much luck with ladies as being an ENTp prevents me from talking to random people for fear of reaction. If you're worried about an ENTp's behavior, if they're mean to you that means that they're close and aren't afraid of you running away at the slightest poke. I don't know what I'm trying to say really, just please don't call me deceptive, because I'm not and I don't think ENTps are, maybe the evil ones but not the rest of us. -- Blue
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