| Socionics Personals |  | Female
Straight
16-25
Oceania
Libra
ENFj |
|  | Male
Straight
16-25
Middle East
Sagittarius
INTj |
|  | Male
Straight
26-35
North America
Pisces
INXj |
| | Join now! |
Who is who?Learn how to convert between different systems
V.I.An introduction into the widely used Socionics Visual Identification technique
TestsA collection of Socionics related tests and quizes
Q & AsAsk a Socionics related question or provide an answer to an existing one
ArticlesVarious articles on the subject of Socionics and Types in general
ForumsWant to discuss Type? Head to Socionics Forums!
|
| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1177616185 | Thursday, 26-Apr-2007 |
|
|
| How do ENTps experience their hidden agenda? Why is it so hard for them to "be loved"? Also, how do ENTp-ISFp relationships tend to develop, particularly when the ENTp is a woman and ISFp, a man? -- anonymous |
|
| A19 To A11, I am a female ENTP. I certainly agree that often when problems occur that directly affect me, I am less likely to confront that person as I would if I saw a problem with two friends or family members. I think that this stems from the ENTPs inability to see our own feelings clearly. We understand ourselves, but are not always sure that our feelings are valid and are not sure how to express what we are feeling. What often happens for me is that I try to tell myself that what I am feeling isn't reasonable and so I try to relax about the issue, but eventually it blows up in my face and I've let the issue get out of hand. And in the meantime, even though I try to tell myself the situation isn't as bad as I think it is, I'm hoarding the ill feelings regardless. This may explain why some people think ENTP seem vengeful. Because we often do not know when it is reasonable to express our feelings or how to express them, we feel more and more jaded and may react that way. I understand that the other person may not know why we are upset with them or acting distant and defensive, but I usually end up expressing my feelings too late. In my experience, this has caused a big problem in relationships. More recently I have put effort into expressing my feelings sooner than later, but I can't say that it has done much good. I think that I am simply awful at explaining them. I believe there is also an underlying inability to allow myself to be vulnerable. -- differentp |
|
|
| A20 Why? Because love implies understanding and the acceptance of another's self-image. It's impossible for a partner to think I'm even remotely as great as I already know I am. -- im better |
| A21 I have to agree with a19 on as far as the " I think that I am simply awful at explaining them." I have found that when I do have strong feelings I have a hard time expressing them. I don't know why, I can talk about just about anything all day long, but emotions just don't seem to click with me. Whenever I have tried, people tend to not understand me, so I generally just don't talk about them with anyone other than close family and friends anymore. Also, I have never heard of anyone describing an entp as compasionate. I know I have never been described as that anyway. Blunt and uncaring are terms people have used on me. It's not that I'm uncaring, I think it has to do more with my inability to convey emotion well. Lol, maybe I should work on that...or than, maybe they should listen to what I'm saying to them logically. -- Anonymous |
| A22 My take on emotional issues as an ENTP. Talking about emotions for me, I mean just for talking about them is unconstructive and flat out depressing. Lets say I am burdened with some unspecified emotion related to certain problems, whatever flavour and cause they might have. The first thing then, is, a; what's the solution? b; who, what and where represents a solution on this specific problem?If none of these are qualified or within reach, It will just add more stress to the already established stress, excercising nonsolution related talks. What is the use of that? How does that rectify matters? I have had a couple of those instances, nonsolutionable situations, and a couple of cousins well meant, sure it was, started to stress the importancy of talk for the matter of talking. And I politely denied their offers several times, until finally I said something along the line; How far are we going to stretch this; Up to the point where I'll shoot myself due to inflated nonsolution problematics. Man! I hate thriving on loose ends. I am not voluntarily entering a tunnel that at least have some form of exit. And carved in stone, my exit is not in the shape of talking emotions for the sake of talking emotions. I am just not designed for those things. It doesnt work, plain and simple. -- Anonymous |
| A23 I am an ENTP male and I am horrible at even trying to express emotion. I am 21 and have never had a girlfriend. I usually reject the thought of most girls in my mind upon first meeting them. I just get a feeling that it wont work and so it doesn't go past that. On the few occasions that I have really been attracted to somebody, I have been completely unable to express it in any way. The last one, I believe she was an ISFp girl, and probably the most beautiful I had seen, I had waited so long that by time I had got up some kind of courage to ask her out some 6'4" jerk-off beat me to it. Do you guys have the same problems, or is this just me? -- Anonymous |
| A24 As a female ENTP, I think we might have it a bit worse-off since the majority of females that most men know and can relate to are the touchy-feely, overly emotional xSFJs. Feelings are rather abstract for me. I question them, I scrutinize them, I poke at them and study them as if they were a science experiment. When people ask me what I'm feeling, I genuinely don't know because either I haven’t finished exploring them yet or I've inspected my feelings so thoroughly, it's as if I've anesthetized myself. It may take me a while to go through various feelings as well. I may be feeling hurt, then eventually I’ll be feeling sad, followed by mad. But each feeling has to be totally dissected by me before I’m ready for the next feeling to be introduced. If someone asks me how I’m feeling and I tell them I’m hurt, then two months later I’m now mad, to them, it’s me not letting go or getting over it or harboring revenge. To me, however, that’s a logical progression. I also find myself agreeing with people when they ask if I’m distressed or some other specific emotion. I might not be, but I figure that maybe a normal person would be feeling distressed in that particular situation, so it is expected of me to pretend to feel distressed as well. It’s not because I’m lying, but because I’m trying to fit in and understand what I’m supposed to be feeling. Same goes for love. Someone tells me they love me. I might not have reached that progression of feelings just yet, but I’ll respond in kind because it’s expected of a normal person to have reached that feeling already. If I end up never reaching that love stage, then the relationship is doomed because I told someone I loved them, even when I didn’t. -- Anonymous |
| A25 RE: A8 & A16, I am an ENTP and have routinely been accused of having no compassion- a classmate recently implied I didnt have a heart. To speak to the earlier conversation, I am compassionate about many things and consequently become very passionate about these individuals or the issues they are encountering. Unfortunately, my compassion/passion is not always easy to see and even harder to prove. Fortunately, I work in the nonprofit world wherein my mere existence at least gives me some credit for being a human being. -- kidkuz |
| A26 I recognize myself in the ENTP thingie of the need to be appreciated. Well, I did. Not anymore. I have a wast resource in an ENTJ friend who once told me about an incident he had with someone. This individual had in frustration screamed into my friends face, and he later told me: "I was OK about it, It didnt concern me, it didnt have anything to do with me." Man! that was an eyeopener. Of course it didnt! This individuals rage was just something generated in another human beeings brain. Nothing more. Of course it couldnt concern him. Just a bunch of thoughts and reactions outside his entity. He cant be responsible for that, and accordingly useless to be upset about. I took it a bit further; If someones bad thoughts shouldnt concern me, then why should I thrive and be addicted on peoples recognition? Same thing really. Just subjectively generated issues. There is billions of subjectively generated thoughts and issues in this world, so which of them have integrity? Good or bad. You tell me. Well, it have changed my inner world completely. Very liberating indeed. I have seen that I dont necessarily need recognition anymore as such. You cant give that much power over yourself into other peoples hands. And that is the baseline of my friends reaction. That is a comforting realization. -- Anonymous |
| A27 i'm an entp female and the only guy i have fallen in love with is an isfp! i wonder, do isfp's love us back? i adore him. we are best friends, used to hook up but it was weird.. he wouldnt talk about it.. i took it to mean he regretted it and was pretending it never happened. but he still spends heaps of time with me and gets jealous if i date other people. very quickly gets rid of them. does the isfp hope the entp will make a move.. or are we meant to wait until you are ready isfp's? -- Anonymous |
| A28 Vengeful, well, I think that under certain circumstances any personality type could be vengeful. For instance, I am an ENFP who is now more ENTP although I see "flavors" in myself or so many "influences" in my life of the other types either through reading or first hand experience, that I can "identify" somewhat with the symptoms or manifestations of the functions. Lots of people out there try to "test" people on things, guys do it to girls, girls do it to guys, in order to get the "real deal" about how people feel about you. For instance those "romantic comedies" where significant other candidates lie/don't verbalize personal information about themselves, create facades, mirages, unrealities, whether for scientific or personal sake as to gather information about someone. Its basically trickery and although that kind of thing is very useful and relavent in science and necessary, in what someone believes is a personal either friendships or love relationships, that kind of trickery can be very very hurtful to both parties or several parties. But it can provoke extreme anger in the person that whose eyes were intentionally blinded especially when they never volunteered or gave consent to a project. -- ENFP |
| A29 Being vengeful is Gamma, not Alpha. Same with cold heartlessness. As for ENTp's "lack of follow-through," people often seem to think that just because ENTP's can spew off a gazillion ideas means they actually intend to *actualize* them. Any ENTp knows this is entirely impossible. Yet, they need the grace of a sounding board to express all their ideas, before the best ones can be discerned and then actualized. The problem, too, is the ENTps ideas tend to be so large that they make lack the resources, SUPPORT, and groundedness to actualize them. People fault the ENTPs for not being 100% self-sufficient, rather than support their visions, and then wonder why they are so damn independent and seemingly "removed" from everyone else. -- ENTP |
| *Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com* |
|
| Would you like to add anything? |
(When posting, we ask you to make the effort to qualify your opinions.)
|
|
