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Question #1170670403Monday, 5-Feb-2007
Category: ENTp Dating
how do entp's behave in dating situations? -- Tricia
Your Answers: 1+ 13+
A1 I avoid dating situations. When I am in them I have trouble being sure if there is romantic/sexual interest. I'll bet she starts feeling the same way after a while. -- ENTP
A2 strange - i definitely do not avoid dating situations. dating is the phase i am most comfortable with...exploring possibilites for the relationship, finding out new information about the guy i'm dating, and being talkative and quirky and fun and clever (entp at its best!) i seem to never have a problem getting asked out again on second, third, fourth dates (etc) - i'm easy to get to know (E), fun to be around (EP), and balanced by a predilection for "deep thinking" (strong N preference) i think the biggest problem for entp's in dating situations is their hesistancy to make commitments. ultimately, i want a lifelong relationship, and will be totally dedicated, but being comfortable in a stagnant (or stable, depending on how you frame it) situation is my weakness. i like change and novelty - and you have to sacrifice a lot of that when you commit. so i fit very easily into the carefree dating mentality, but a lot of guys i date tend to very quickly want to "settle down" - which, as a young adult, i don't really want to think about...i'll be serious and committed in a relationship (i would never be in a relationship if i didn't think it could work out in the long run), and if the relationship ends up working out permanently , great! but i don't want think about confining my future (at least not yet), and a lot of types are hurt and confused by this hesistancy to embrace the the idea of settling down in the long run. when i do "settle down", i'll need to be with someone who doesn't want to be particularly "settled"...who can handle my need to challenge myself and embark upon new adventures (NT) So just because we don't want to discuss the details of settling down doesn't mean we aren't committed...we just want to live in the present, and embrace the relationship for what it is, letting it go where it goes. we don't need security, like a lot of types - in fact, we're kind of scared of security and same-ness. so let us be committed in our own way - and we'll love you! other things to look out for when dating an entp: -we may not always be emotionally sensitive, but we have good intuitions, and know pretty quickly whether or not a person is a good fit for us. -we need independence! don't try to control us (we are the type most resistant to authority and conformity) - we are easygoing in most ways, but have many strong opinions and will resist any sort of domineering, controlling person. give us space to pursue our independent interests, don't be clingy or needy, let us take on new risks, challenges, and dreams, and don't be negative...we're optimistic, hopeful, and future-oriented. -we need a strong intellectual connection with people - we embrace opportunities for physical intimacy, and can be enthuiastic and creative lovers, but if i had to choose between cuddling for bonding and having a deep, intimate conversation - to be honest, i'd choose the latter! don't expect a cuddly, traditional romance...we will intimately connect with you in our own unconventional way! -if you want to win us over, engage us in lively discussions, be open to our ideas and take us on new adventures, be creative and witty, stimulate our intellectual curiosity, respect our need for independence, let us dream and heck, dream with us! also i really respect a guy who can keep up with me in terms of energy and gets tiring to always have to be the energetic, interesting one! yay entp! we're challenging, but at least we're interesting! -- entp
A3 * They need room. * They like to argue (don't get offended!). * They get bored easily - and might switch attention quickly. But it's not an insult. It's to entertain both of you! * They like to talk and be talked to (not just nonsense, but about meaningful subjects!). * They're absent minded. Don't take offense. * They like to have all the attention. Don't take offense. Give it to them! -- ENTP female
A4 @A3. You don't give very good advertisement for dating ENTp's. So basically what you are saying, is that in dating situations ENTp's are annoying, difficult and demanding. Wich rises question, why would anyone date an ENTp? -- INTp
A5 Capriciously. -- Anonymous
A6 Reading A2's response was almost mirroring my own thoughts! I'm a 33 yr old ENTP female who just at 31 settled down with my INTP partner. Echoing, A2's response: we love intellectual stimulation, we are both highly independent, and love challenge and change. My ISTJ mate (The Duty Fulfiller type) was intimidated by my expressed desire to change careers - he wanted financial as well as emotional security. I also need a degree of fincancial security, but I also like to embrace change and novelty. All I can say was that I was unhappy with the stagnancy in my ISTP mate. As an ENTP, I was considered bright, well-spoken, fun-loving, interesting, brave, adventurous, colorful, sexy (I travelled to South America solo! Come to think of it, I prefer to travel solo, no hassels with compromising with a group of friends) Speaking for myself - I didn't want to settle down until my early 30's. I had things to figure out and explore and learn before I could couple off. I always was thinking, what if someone else better came along? My life could change because couples influence each other! On a typical date, and ENTP will be zany charming, will enjoy intense and deep discussion, and perhaps even ask big philosophical questions. KEEP our brains stimulated and we'll be back for a second or third date. Hope this helps! -- Anonymous
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A7 Okay here goes: ENTPs are unpredictable. One minute they pay close attention to you, one minute they're terribly spaced out. "What were you saying?" is a common ENTP question. This leads their prospective dates to think that they're uninterested, flaky, or simply sending mixed messages. They could be quite scheming as well - for instance, a chance encounter with a prospective date might not be completely by chance at all. An ENTP has a double-sided, conflicting standard. They want mates who they can communicate with intellectually (must be at par with them) yet won't steal the show from them. ENTPs love being worshipped. As an ENTP female myself, I have a weakness for men who keep on telling me "you're so funny" "you're so crazy" "you're so smart." Ah, my ego feasts on that! -- marga
A8 @A7 ENTP's enjoy variety, but I would argue not entirely unpredictable. As for being spaced out, not being a good listener, scheming, that doesn't seem honest or respectful towards others. For myself, on dates I was focused on learning about my date. As a female ENTP, the first thing I give out is honesty and I expect it back. Perhaps some ENTP are still developing their character as well as maturing socially. As for ENTPs loving "being worshiped" - I would only agree to a small extent. It would be more accurate to say that, at least for myself, I enjoy wearing the hat of "expert" as well as being the centre of attention; however, I also am mature and gracious enough to let others shine and have an opportunity to speak. -- Anonymous
A9 ENTPs at their best are great fun, full of life, intellectually stimulating, enjoy exciting and new physical activities great at analysing peoples problems and finding practical solutions for them and very kind and generous. In all their relationships they need to be in charge whether they are male or female. If they decide they want to go out with you they will not take no for an answer. They believe they can persuade anyone to do anything they want them to do. They will only ever be on time if it is absolutely necessary. If they are not getting their way or if they don't respect you or are stressed out they become self-absorbed, competitive, insecure, domineering, totally impractical, patronising, unable to cope with other peoples emotional problems and suffocating. If you are an extreme J and they are an extreme P I would suggest you find someone else cause your relationship is bound for failure. Personally I really like ENTPs. They are wonderful people except when they are too stressed out. -- Anonymous
A10 I like A8. But to be honest I am guilty of frequently asking, "What were you saying?" That's not to say that I can't be a good listener, I am, just not while I'm doing anything else. To the INTP who thought we were annoying and demanding: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, dude. However, I find that most INTPs love me and we have an easy relationship. And although I get along with lots of different types of people, that's certainly not true of all types - I have trouble with ESFJ and ISTJ women, neither of whom seem to appreciate/understand me. Most people find that ENTPs are fun to be around, but perhaps not the person someone would settle down with. Except when I met my INFJ husband, he knew I was exactly what he was looking for and made no bones about it. Almost 13 years later we are still made for each other and I would say he (as an INFJ) is exactly what someone here mentioned that an ENTP would need: He's brilliant; he challenges me and loves to debate me, but doesn't like to be the center of attention so it never feels like a competition. And did I mention he is FINE. INFJs baby, they love our spunk, ideas, quirkiness, humor, irreverence, logic and gifts. The first time I met him I knew he was marriage material. I didn't mean for me, but something about him just struck me that this is the kind of guy to marry. I was soooooooo right. -- Anonymous
A11 i am an entp and i have a hard time with commitment. Mainly becasue i get bored easily and once i know everything about a person and did everything with them i like to move on. i also like challenges and once i feel i already "own" the person, it isnt exciting anymore. honestly, i know this probabaly isnt a good thing, haha. but i havent been in love or really really liked someone yet, and so once that happens im guessing i wont randomly want to move on with the person... -- entp
A12 I take it as a game of chess. so 70% of the date is pre-planned. even the dialogues, the feelings, the probabilities. the 30% is of by quick gathering information, evaluation, thinking the possible actions, thinking the pattern of every action, evaluating counter-actions, and finally picking the most favored action based on my results. All of these made quickly, as i mentioned before. From my experience, a date fails rarely, or extremely rarely, depending your intellectual abilities, and his/her. Usually, the date for the other person will vary between "ok-nice" and "wonderful", depending on my effort and the grade of my interest. I reject the possibility of anything lower than ok, because i wouldn't bother dating persons without me being interested in them, so i would make the date being nice one. -- Lily
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