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Question #1170630007Sunday, 4-Feb-2007
Category: Functions Hidden Agenda
How does a POLR Fe differ from an HA Fe? So HA Fe people (namely INTj and ISTj) are more ready to show their feelings and INTp and ISTp aren't? What about shyness, what if the person's just shy? I mean how do you tell all these things apart? -- sara
Moderator's comment
HA Fe types would be ENTp and ESTp
Your Answers: 1+
A1 Introverted people are always shy in some way or another, but people can learn to push their comfort zones. I'm INTp guy, but I can't speak for other people. If you talk about romantic feelings, I'm not showing them or allow myself to have them, unless the other person clearly shows them first. Mainly because I'm unsure about how the other person feels unless it's clear, and I always assume they aren't interested if they don't show anything clearly. Also I miss most of signals girls send. If I'm "interested" about someone, I show it very subtly. I guess the only way to have clues is to compare my behaviour when I'm around different people, I'm slightly more open, nicer and so on. I can't give any clues how to detect, or to be sure, since I adapt to situations, and mirror other peoples visible emotions. Only way to be sure, is to show your cards first, wich should also be done privately. If you talk about feelings in general. I usually have some negative emotion, and it shows although not strongly. If I compare myself to INTj's they usually have blank poker face, I have more of a smokescreen of fake emotions and mimic what other seem to be feeling, trying to adapt to the situation. So that might be the answer to the question. INTj's and ISTj's might be more concerned about (not showing?) their own emotion. For INTp and ISTp it's more about trying to cope with external emotional signals, and regard their own emotions as irrelevant. -- Anonymous
A2 oops, made a mistake here. i wanted to say suggestive Fe for INTj and ISTj. -- sara
A3 A1, "For INTp and ISTp it's more about trying to cope with external emotional signals, and regard their own emotions as irrelevant." Would any INTp expand further on this, please? How strongly does an INTp tend to experience their own feelings - e.g., at the beginning of a relationship - and their ability to control them? And what might INTps be especially appreciative of, as a sign of establishing a relationship (even friendship?) -- anonymous
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A4 @A3. Difficult question, because even some of the concepts are unclear to me. I'm male, so these answers probably don't apply to female INTp's, because of different interpration of signals due to social roles etc. And I have no idea, how they react, they have to speak for themselves. And again this is based on my personal experience, but none else seem to answer But let's start with friendships. I don't want emotions mixed with my friendships. I guess I go for "let's have rowdy fun"-emotion, whatever that is, nothing more than that. However, other INTp's might be less crude and more goofy than I am. I don't want to sound too machiavellian, but I base my friendships entirely on what use the people are to me. To make that lighter, the "use" could be just to have fun, like to play online games and so on. But mostly it's the other people people that determine if they are my friends or not. They have initiated the friendships, and do all the "work" to keep the friendships going. I was more interested in having a friend, when I wasn't adult. I'm always somewhat uncertain, how "deep" the friendship is. I also resist friendships developing too deep too fast. I don't have any female friends, just acquaintances. Having a female friend, seems much more difficult to me. But if you are female and know that you want to be friend, and just that with a INTp guy. I don't know any comfortable way to signal that. So only way is just flat out say it, but that probably makes the guy think:"why only friends?". But otherwise, the guy probably suspects that you might really be romantically interested, wich makes him very unsure what's going on. To the romantic relationships. "Beginning of a relantionship" I don't fully understand. To me either you are in or out of one. So beginning is the part when either, probably the non-INTp has stated that it is a relantionship. But if we speak of formation stage, then to INTp that's a non-relationship, and doesn't expect it to become one. So until the it's a relationship INTp will have total control over the emotion, except maybe for small bursts of "extra-niceness". If it's relationship INTp will start to loosen the control. Well I've been in love only once, I think. The emotion was painfully strong. But still having a emotion isn't a valid motive to do anything. Well I didn't really know what I should have done either. And a good signal to start a romantic relationship? Any clear sign that cannot be intrepreted as anything else, not even as a joke, it doesn't matter what it is actually. INTp's want relationships as easy as possible, for both. For INTp the best idea for date is something inexpensive and private. It's easier to test if INTp is not attracted. In that case even a small signal will make INTp colder than before. Because he doesn't want to lead the person to false conclusion, and then really hurt them later. INTp appears most shy, when he's unsure if the person is attractive enough. And if for some odd reason INTp seems to pursuing you, and you aren't interested. Then just clearly state it. INTp's hate more the idea that someone thinks them as sensitive or weak, than actually getting emotionally hurt. -- A1 INTp guy
A5 @ INTp guy, how do you pursue someone you like but you are no idea whether that person likes you or not? -- Anonymous
A6 @A5. By sending telepathic messages, but that doesn't seem to work I just don't pursue, or don't even know how to pursue. Well I do some things, these may vary a lot. But generally I look in the eyes of girls I'm interested, but even that is learned behaviour. Basically if the girl does even seem to exist the INTp guys world he's probably interested, instead of treating the girl like air. Only way I would really pursue is if I was 100% certain. -- INTp guy
A7 A PoLR of indicates the person is , or . From pathological standpoint both these types tend to be loners: the former antisocial, and the latter idiosyncratic. An HA of belongs to either or ; types who show common nacissistic tendencies. -- Anonymous
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