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Question #1169859822Saturday, 27-Jan-2007
Category: Relationship Stereotype Dating
What matters more in relationships, age or type? For instance, can a sixteen year old female and a twenty three year old male who are Duals still have a successful relationship despite society's disapproval of this age difference? -- john
Your Answers: 1+
A1 23 year old dating a 16 year old is borderline sick imo. But in general, age matters more. -- Anonymous
A2 Definitely, they can have a successful relationship somewhere far away from weirdos like the one who posted A1 above. -- Dr. Zoidberg
A3 @A2 Wich would be far away from entire civilized world, where the concept of "age of consent" is known. -- Anonymous
A4 Who do you call entire civiliZed world? America? STFU and get some education! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Europe a good place to start, weirdo... -- Dr. Zoidberg
A5 Though I fear slings and arrows based on the responses and the question itself, may I objectively add that, at least in my opinion, neither a 16 year old's nor a 23 year old's brains are finished developing. Without psychological preferences that are set, it would be difficult to have a successful relationship, which is probably part of the reason why the divorce rate is sky high for people who marry at or under 21 years of age. With all due respect, please find someone your own age to play with. -- econdude
A6 @A4 And a wikipedia entry is your idea of "education"? If you would study the criminal law more closely in many of those nations, you would notice that there are cases where the age of consent presented on that wikipage is actually teenager-to-teenager, not adult-to-teenager. And in many nations, there's a tendency to rise that age, due to recent events. Those ages are based on religious traditions, and have nothing to do with rational developement psychology. And just because someone is "whole" one year older, than the limit where the adult would be thrown to prison, doesn't still make it normal all of the sudden. Therefore the word "borderline", something wrong with your reading comprehension? And just because something is legal, doesn't still make it so that it wouldn't be sick. For example there's a difference between "college kids" having fun and streaking, and some guy in a raincoat flashing to women who pass by. And maybe if you alter your perception of a weirdo, you can someday have relationship with an adult person Dr. Zoidberg. And if we put all that aside. If there's adult guy that actually needs to date a teenager. Once the teenager gets somewhat older, and starts to measure the guy by adult womans standards. Then the guy isn't anymore as "hot" as it would seem to a teenager. -- Anonymous
A7 @A6. No, the wikipedia is not my idea of "education", but it is AN idea of education. Nowhere near it implies teenager-to-teenager relationship, read the citations from criminal laws again. Now, all that legal stuff aside, who gave you the right to be the judge of their relationship? People like you are sticking their noses in other people's underwear and ruin other people lives. Do you think you are the voice of the society and such an expert in relationships that you can deliver your flawless verdict based on 3 lines of text? I don't think so, weirdo... -- Dr. Zoidberg
A8 i have to agree with dr zoiberg, society aleady had it say by introducing the age of consent. if you think the age of consent should be changed, then make a motion, otherwise leave the lovebirds alone -- Anonymous
A9 "Nowhere near it implies teenager-to-teenager relationship, read the citations from criminal laws again." How about, you read the parts excluded from the citations. And follow the general discussion concerning it. "who gave you the right to be the judge of their relationship?" The same person who gave you the right to comment on my comment. And unlike you I'm not being hypocritical, you are just as judgemental as me, even more so. "People like you are sticking their noses in other people's underwear and ruin other people lives." No, it's losers who can't get adult girlfriends. "Seduce" teenage girls, with the amazing ability to buy beer. Get them pregnant. And then probably can't support the kid. That actually can ruin someones life. I'm not saying this guy in particular is like that. But ask yourself: In general what kind of guys who are in the mid-twenties actually hang out with teenage girls, in the real world? Not in your ridicilous utopia world, where tigers hug panda bears. "society aleady had it say by introducing the age of consent" I suppose husband raping his wife is ok to you, since in many countries there isn't actual law against it? And society doesn't make laws. There are plenty of rules in society that aren't laws. Even more the are social expectiations. Even more than that, there are stupid decisision. Age difference always creates problems in relationships. Especially if the other person is in different phase of life, with different goals in life and relationships. Even more so, when the other person isn't fully developed and is just learning about romantic relationships. "leave the lovebirds alone" If the guy actually loves the girl, he can wait year or two. -- The voice of the society
A10 You're signing up as "the voice of the society" pretty summons it all up for me. It looks like in your twisted little world all 16 y.o. girls are stupid helpless virgins and all 23 y.o. men are sadistic rapists. Wow. We are talking about only 7 years difference, are you really that crazy or just pretending? Most guys at 23 still have got no clue what it is all about and it is a fact that girls grow up faster, so what is the problem? You know what, if you still can't see that you're wrong in making such sweeping judgements, then so be it, I can't blame you, I would have wanted to cut my wrists as well if I lived in your world, wierdo... -- Dr. Zoidberg
A11 from my personal experience and observed experience, an age gap that large with one person who is still at teenager (especially, a female), is not something to promote. I know that when i was 16 i was not ready or mature enough for a relationship with a man of 23. Id, personally, rather people error on the side of being too protective of teenage girls in situations like that because, trust me when i say there are alot of guys out there who take an oppurtunity like that to exploit. -- Tricia
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A12 Speaking from experience, as a 16 yr old female(INFj) in 1970, I did date a 23 yr old. I was mature for my age-and maybe he was a little less mature for his?, I don't remember...But trust me, my high moral standards were reflected onto him big time. Sleeping together wasn't our goal(never happened)-getting to know each other was. At 17, I graduated, moved from home and supported myself. At 18, I dated a 26 year old-and married him a couple years later. We were married for 25 years. After his death, I began dating a man 11 years younger. It has a lot to do with where you are maturity wise. IMO, the male mind is still just a kid until about the age of 25. I think there have even been studies on it. I watched my 2 boys grow-now 22 and 26. It was definitely 25, when I saw a big change in my oldest-to a true mature man. My 22 yr old still seems like the bubbly kid he was at 18, he's changing though...What I've really noticed is how the teen girls of today are so much more mature than the teen girls of yesterday-or they think they are. Society maybe??? Morals are very important to me, I wish we had the ones of yesterday-but it is society of today that has changed the kids of yesterday..The results are showing. My parents never had to worry about me when I chose whom to date, morals were taught and valued. If I had a daughter, I would have taught her the same, and trusted her choices-I would have trusted my teachings, over today's society, in instilling values to my child. She would have known what was morallly right and wrong in a wonderful loving way. My boys are honest with me and have known they can tell me anything. I believe a daughter would have done the same. If a 16 yr old daughter of mine wanted to date a 22 yr old, she would introduce him to me, that is my parenting style=based on trust in my teachings. It's all an individual thing that goes back to parenting..nuturing the soul of each individual personality to be the best they can be. To be able to trust them to move on with life and the many choices they'll have to make. -- INFj mom
A13 Almost no one disapproves of a seven year age difference. Legally a sixteen year old is a child. A child cannot consent to a sexual relationship; especially a sexual relationship with an adult. It not a question of social disapproval; it's a crime. Apart from the legal ramifications, I would expect such a relationship to work much the same as any relationship between duals would. -- Anonymous
A14 im 16 teen years old and my boyfriend is 22 years old and we have a 4 year old son and a 2 year old lil girl and a son that would of been 2 in nov but he past away at birth. so i would say yes you can cuz me and my baby father have been together for 5 years -- monique
A15 @A14 If I may ask, what are your types? -- Anonymous
A16 Neither type, nor age are everything. If you are 'duals' then you can take that as an encouraging sign, but on a practical level you should consider everything else - all your other relationships may be affected. You probably know that by now, if you stuck together, but anyone else in a similar position, watch out. You may find yourself less suited than you think, as well - the parts of you that make you 'duals' are still flexible, and you may not be duals next year, or next month. Incidentally, those who are calling you sick and depraved are people who you would certainly never take the advice of if you knew them personally - just a hunch. -- Nate
A17 If the relationship is platonic (until she's 18), then absolutely, yes. Otherwise, other factors like insignificant statutory rape laws (and possibly a protective parent of hers to initiate charges of) might likely later cause said relationship to fail. Unless, of course, the two of them find a way to legally get *cringes* married. -- Soc INTj, MBTI INTP, SLOAN rcoei, Enne 5w4
*Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com*
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