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| Question #1168132896 | Sunday, 7-Jan-2007 |
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Have there been any studies of INTJ's that had an abusive childhood ..leading up to the teen years? Are there any of you that have dealt with this? How has it impacted your life?   -- ghostintheshell.jp AT gmail.com |
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| A27 First, I would like to apologize about my grammar. English isn't my first language so this is very hard to me. I don't know anything about my father except a face and a name. I grew without father figure, my parents divorced when I was young. My mother was depressed because our financial state wasn't good enough. She abused me, both physically and emotionally. Bruises, lacerations,burn wounds, etc. She frequently called me names, like little ****, scoundrel, useless child or told me that she never wanted me to live. In her opinion, my existence was an embarrassment in my family. I'm the oldest and I had to endured consequences from almost every mistake my younger siblings made, even though I was innocent. She did a good job to make me wished to die and it was usually after punishment. She just left me alone in the corner to cry in pain and shock and I didn't know where to go. To make it worse, I didn't know how to socialize. I still do though, and that's why I have no best friends or close friends. When I was 12-15 years old I suffered some hallucinations. When my mother knew, she ashamed about the fact that her daughter was "crazy" and performed exorcist rituals. When I was 19 years old I suffered from self-harm (cutting, starving, took many pills), and suicidal. I survived, and thankfully no one knows. Until now, sometimes I have experienced hallucinations and nightmares, but I know they are not real. I knew (and I still do) I could handle all of these. I'm 23 years old now. How do I cope? I'm channeling my negative emotions to create something beautiful, like paintings and writing. Reading some science books especially biology, biochemistry, and psychology really does well to me. I enjoy gathering knowledge and sharpening my talents, so I don't really dwell in the past. Thanks to the abuse, now I know how to empathize other beings. Will I get my revenge? No, I just can't bring my self to do that. It's not that I forgive and forget those people, but I'm just too tired. It's very uncomfortable and I wish I will never have to. What is done, done. The damage might be permanent, but there is always hope. I'm holding on, and so do you. You could always find happiness in many ways, or kindness in daily basis. Don't swim in negative emotions, go and see the world. Perhaps if you see the beauty of life, you will find your peace. Fortunately, I don't know you and you don't know me. So I'm safe. -- absolutely INTj |
| A28 A18 Child-rearing doesn't count as child abuse. Think that falls into the 'discipline' category; unless you have a parent just whaling away on your ass for no apparent reason. - I got whuppins on the regular, not because my parent was abusive; although there were a few times I thought I didn't deserve one. But because I usually did something I know I shouldn't have. Majority of the time my parent had no evil agenda. And it taught me quicker than most kids that there were consequences for my actions. At the end of the day I still knew my parent cared about me. - It's a bit ironic that you try to subtly link Criminals to abuse. Doubt there is any correlation. If anything you could try to make a connection between the lack of discipline to convicts. Because a lack of structure for immature children leads to bad decisions, and bad decision accumulate over time and cocoon into terrible ones. And all convicts are-are people who made the "wrong" decision and are facing the consequences of their actions. - I was disciplined throughout my entire childhood and I have no desire to go on killing sprees and rape people. As you say, "lesions from the early trama"... don't be such a drama queen. You get a whuppin', cry about it, and are back out on the playground as if none of it happened 30 minutes later. You're just more aware not to make anymore stupid decision you know you'll be disciplined for. Which ultimately carries over into making smarter decisions in adulthood. I think discipline in my childhood is a major factor for why my J preference is so strong on every test I've taken. If I didn't have that structure growing up I'd probably be an INTP. -- MBTI and Socionics INTJ |
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| A29 @A15 on sociopathy, I agree tremendously. My father was a psychopath/sociopath and while i lived with him/his abuse I found that I would mimic his approach to the world and not my mother's because he forged a connection with me before the abuse. He was physically abusive, but because I was so young i didn't understand that he was a bad guy because of the pain.(I know this seems really dark but I'm not affected by it anymore) My mom was always very emotional and she would always overshare, and because I didn't really see the logic in it i would tune it out. Interesting connection between trauma and the lack of feeling in the archetypal INTj. -- INTj female |
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