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Question #1160689177Thursday, 12-Oct-2006
Category: INTp ENFp Relationship Dating Intertype Relations
From a general perspective, how likely are romantic relations to survive between illusionary partners? More specifically, how would an INTp and an ENFp likely get on in a romantic relationship? -- BLauritson
Your Answers: 1+ 15+
A15 I'm an ENTp woman involved with an INFp man, this is illusionary also. We've been together about 10 months after both having been married to other people for a long time. It was love at first sight and there is a lot of chemistry. He kind of manages the emotional/relation side and I deal with the world, plans, arrangements. We have these great long philosophical discussions. He has helped me understand my self and how I am in relationships a lot better. I do find him sweet, but not too sweet, he has an edge. I would have to disagree with A12 since we have had period (about every 3 months) friction about whether we can meet the other person's needs, expectations from the other person, seeing other people, etc. These disagreements have been painful and difficult, yet we are always able to communicate well, negotiate, and get through them. There is a flowing, easy quality to the relationship, but there is also some mystery in that we don't always understand what the other person is doing. My ex is an estp and we had none of this type of conversation and negotiation in our twenties before we got married, so I take this relationship as an improvement. Whether we can achieve goals together I am not sure of this, since in a way you have to live together before you can really find this out. -- Anonymous
A16 Some of you guys will be mis typing the n - so probably more dual relations going on than you think -- Anonymous
A17 See this is the problem Jason. After reading you're well articulated explanation of why intp/enfp relationships could never work out I find myself immensley attracted to your intellectual and detailed response. How ironic. -- Anonymous
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A18 There are interesting and penetrating observations in this thread, but there is too much mistyping. -- Anonymous
A19 As an ENFP who has been married to an INTP for 12 years, I feel I am in a good position to comment on the validity of the descriptor "illusionary". My experience suggests it is extremely apt. We were both attracted to each other initially because each of us is, in our own way, highly individualistic, quirky and intelligent. The problem, I think lies in the illusion of shared values created by Extroverted Intuition. Over time, we have discovered that neither of us is "really" interested in what the other is interested in (I'm a psychologist, he's a physicist), but we have tried to be for the sake of the other. Perhaps there are some out there who have made this pairing work. For my part, I think it does tend to hold both partners back because the mutual understanding provided by Extroverted Intuition is so comfortable. Furthermore, these is always the feeling that the other could "almost" be like you, but isn't really trying hard enough...as you can tell, our relationship is not in a good place right now. I would hazard a guess to say that ENFP male / INTP female might have a better chance because the processes of socialisation would mean that each would be forced to develop the personality in ways that an ENFP female / INTP male would not. In other words, INTP females might be slightly better with the social graces and emotions and ENFP males with using logic and maintaining emotional equilibrium. As much as I love my husband, my personal experience suggests that this relationship, over the long term, doesn't really work to mutual benefit. -- Anonymous
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