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Question #1157566959Wednesday, 6-Sep-2006
Category: INFp Attraction Relationship
What exactly tends to happen when two INFPs pair up romantically? Especially two who have nearly identical scores in all four aspects? -- Christa
Your Answers: 1+
A1 You should get along with each other very well, but don't count on being able to help one another too much. There's no difference in your points of view. You might read the article on identical relations but be warned: most of the articles on intertype relations are negatively slanted -- they tend to focus on the problems two people might have with each other rather than what they can do to enrich each other. -- metroGnome, the ostensible INTj
A2 Boredom, plain and simple. Or you could start feeding into each other's neuroses, which is doubly bad. -- m.
A3 NO!! not necessarily. You will feel extremely comfortable, and instantly. Yo will forget about yourself and hae fun in such silly ways, with inocent plays...and you will be truly comprehended...sorry english not my language -- Anonymous
A4 Identity relation is the second best option, and with some types it might the best option in the long term. -- Anonymous
A5 My best friend is an INFP, and for her the best option is to pair up with another INFP. You guys are such romantics, I think you benefit from being with somebody like you. For one thing, another INFP is unlikely to take advantage of you. If you've got chemistry, I think it's a good idea. -- DreamingOne, ENFP
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A6 A disaster! Been there, done that. Although you understand each other and have an odd, almost psychic connection, you won't work well romantically. The attraction will wear off as the other person has nothing to offer to the relationship that you can't offer yourself. There are too many similarities and not enough differences to keep things interesting. However, two INFPs will be friends for life as the bond shared between the two individuals is as strong and intimate as you can get. -- Anonymous
A7 I've done it and for the first couple weeks it's great. You lose all track of time and can spend hours just lounging around. However, once the initial physical attraction passes it gets dull fast. INFPs (at least males) have voracious sexual desires and both sexes have a need (however hidden) to be part of the active world. This desire isn't filled by another INFP because s/he doesn't have this to give. I'm a 30 y.o. INFP male who pretty much only dates his dual now (ESTP) and strongly recommend it. The chemistry and trust is amazing. -- INFP guy
A8 I'm in one right now, and it is definitely different. You would think that two "Romantics" makes a Hyper-Romantic, but the reality is not as cool. I believe INFPs are, by design, the most subjectively focused, rather than objectively focused types. Our attitude towards EVERYTHING reflects it: how we view ourselves, how we perceive, how we make decisions, and what we think of our place in the world. This connection between two people is extremely profound, especially considering how isolating the INFP experience can be. Beware though, it still seems like nothing is being offered that you don't already have. Since the defining point of INFPs is "understanding" I am wondering whether this is ideal or problematic. I have to admit though, unlike some previous relationships, this one doesn't really feel like I am being completed as much as mirrored. Although I have never been with my dual, ESTP, I have a hard time believing someone that rational and concrete would really relate to me, or I to them. -- Joseph
A9 A7: My INFp sister has been dating an INFp guy for two years and she thinks that the relationship is good, and probably it is. But I have seen her boyfriend interacting with an ESTp girl and he was ten times more lively, ten times more self-confident and ten times more himself with her. So I agree with you that INFps have some needs that only ESTps can fulfill. I also realized this when I dated an INFp guy because I, although I am quite an energetic ESFp, was not active enough to completely fulfill his needs of interesting activities like swimming or yachting. Thats how I realized his strong need of an ESTp. -- Ezis
A10 I am not an INFp, but I am friends with three INFp-INFp couples. From my simple and outsider view, they get along quite well and they understand each other very well, but as they have no-one of different type to do some non-INFp work for them, they get tired easily. With an ESTp, its probably less understanding, at least at the beginning, but its a more comfortable relationship in terms of roles and work division. Generally, the ESTp-INFp relationships I know of seem to me a bit better than the INFp-INFp relationships. Maybe because these ESTp-INFP couples I know are sensitive and have deep faith (one of the ESTps is a pastor) and so their mutual understanding improves year by year (as they themselves told me). -- Ezis
A11 It's a magical connection at first sight, but unfortunately unless one is more of an intellectual than the other, the relationship is bound for the highway. -- Maritsa Darmandzhyan
A12 Thom Yorke and PJ Harvey -- Anonymous
A13 I'm an EXTREME INFP with a husband who's an infp who is more moderate in introversion, and has more sensing tendencies than me. We met 12 years ago at 15 &18, long before either of us even knew what an infp was. We were married at 18 & 21, and now we are 27&30. It was instant chemistry with us. Both of us drawn into each others deep inner workings and musings. He never asked me out, we just became and item. He didn't asked me to marry him, we just decided a date. Our values are very similar. After 12 years neither of us has suggested "the 'd' word" We rarely argue in any "Big" sort of way, and tend to get over these issues fast- however they usually occur in a sort of mutually passive aggressive sort of way. I tend to be more of a realist (and Idealistic realist- crazy, I know) than he, and I think he gets a bit offended when I shoot down his craziest ideas. As more of a sensor school was more difficult for him than me. I didn't mind working for my degree and I enjoyed school, he'd have rather be able to start work in the career he'd like without being stuck in school. For being the same type we have an amazing amount a variances in our personality. We are both a mess, but he keeps his personal things more organized. I put up clothes but he just piles them. We like the same sorts of people, movies, books, music, are equally devoted to our faith, and enjoy shiny new gadgets. We enjoy animals and children. We make each other laugh often. Life isn't always exciting, but it's comfortable. We are both adventurous enough that life isn't too dull, however it lacks major conflict and drama. It's as close to ideal as is probably possible for an INFP. -- Anonymous
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