| Socionics Personals |  | Female
Straight
16-25
Oceania
Libra
ENFj |
|  | Male
Straight
16-25
Middle East
Sagittarius
INTj |
|  | Male
Straight
26-35
North America
Pisces
INXj |
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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1157392205 | Monday, 4-Sep-2006 |
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| Could you please explain to me what the relation between an ENFp and an INTj would be like? -- Rebekah |
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| A15 As an ENFP dating an INTJ, I really have to quibble with the computer comment. My boyfriend can be really impassive at times, and as an ENFP, reading people is something I do well, but it is impossible with him. Having said that, though, he's very funny and can be very playful at times, moreso as time goes by. He's so undramatic, I love it-there are no games or machinations. No temper tantrums, either. He is a very passionate lover. And, when it's just the two of us, there is this coziness there between us that I just love. I don't have to entertain him, he just lets me be who I am. It took me a while to learn that silence was a sign of comfort and contentment with him, but once I figured that out, things have been great. -- Anonymous |
| A16 I agree with A12- I think the two are opposite in many ways, but they seem to understand each other. Since they're different they are attracted to each other, and since they understand each other, it makes the relationship enduring. -- Anonymous |
| A17 I am in the same boat as A14. The break-up took months and he was and still is completely irrational and making life hard for me. We had a wonderful 3-year friendship before the relationship though. So, I think in a non-romantic sense it's a great match, but romantically it's hard and probably not the best idea. There will just be that certain something missing. -- Anonymous |
| A18 I can tell you it's nearly hell. I'm an INTJ, and one of my best friends is an ENFP. I'm really attracted to his personality, almsot the opposite of mine. I love talking to him, but we have a hard time understanding eachother. We're really different. -- Anonymous |
A19 I'm an ENFP girl and i just broke up with an INTJ guy because i kinda felt like he didn't like me anymore, but at the same time i kinda feel like he did, but just didn't show his feelings that well since he's introverted. I sorta feel like we could get back together cuz i proved to him that i am one of the best girlfriends a guy could have. I surprised with him with little fun creative giggly ways to make him smile and honestly how can he forget how fun and random that is when it seems like most people aren't like that at all. I just hope we get back together because we had so much in common and are morals were the same and he made feel really comfortable around him (i didn't even have to wear makeup when i was with him). My question is "Do you think he'll miss me especially when none of his other gfs were like me?"  -- Anonymous |
| A20 I'm INTj woman and i have had relationship with ENFp man for 6 years already. I wanted to break up with him at first, i didn't find him attractive, but as time passed by, i find him more and more attractive. I couldn't ask for a better husband. We share the same moral standards, which make us feel closer. We share the same sense of humor, we giggle all the time. And - we always talk with each other, we never run out of topics, probably, because both of us are intuits. I also like that ENFP would almost never get into arguments and i hate arguments very much. So, we usually solve our problems and try to avoid negative feelings as much as possible. The only problem i find in our relationship is money spending habits- i like to have savings, he would spend everything and that makes me angry. And i DO need to learn to approach ENFP very gently when it comes to criticism. Although- if you have loving relationship- you find a way to communicate without hurting each other. For a long time i thought he is my dual because of how easy we get along. -- INTj in love |
| A21 Also- I addressed how I don't agree with the ENFP/ISTP relationship... but I think the INTJ/ESFJ is so much worse. I can see how the INTJ would be drawn to the warmth of the ESFJ, but I think the ESFJs love of convention drives the INTJ mad. Likewise I can't see how the ESFj would really appreciate the INTJ, but rather continually try and 'fix' him. Buy him the 'right' clothes, get him the 'right' haircut, introduce him to the 'right' crowd. All of which the ESFj takes very seriously, and the INTJ could not care less about. INTJs I know have frivolity, while most ESFJs I know worship convention. -- Anonymous |
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| A22 I agree with A12- I think it's a very good match and have observed it in close proximity. I think the key is that they think so similarly, but they their approach to life is so different. Duality relationships are one of the only things I disagree with about Socionics. I think an ISTP would bore an ENFP to tears. Yes, they are action-oriented, but ENFPs crave mental stimulation, and aren't necessarily in touch with the sensual part of life. Also I think an ENFP is way to complex and irrational for an ISTP. I'm not sure how ENFPs and ISTPs connect, except in a very artificial way. I think ENFPs are wowed by th brilliance of INTJs, and apprecciate their ability to 'frasp' the complexities of the ENFP. Likewise INTJs like that ENFPs are so rich and unpredictible, like some science experiment where they can keep digging deeper and never know what they'll find with the enigmatic, and unpredictable ENFP. ISTPs have no interest in the 'complexities', but rather the sensational experiences that ENFPs, which are usually a shirt-lived facade. -- INFPer |
| A23 I am an ENFP who does NOT suffer from ADHD, but I can see how my mental speed and agility could be mistaken as such. Through my career as an architect (orchestrator of the entire world of information), I have found a way to channel my energies into societal good. -- ENFP |
A24 Just test the waters out! I am an ENFP, and I love to start new relationships with types outside of duality, so I know what it is like. You can read these forum-posters' advice, but are you really going to base a relationship decision on it? Relate with him/her and see for yourself  -- ENFP |
| A25 Find a mature INTJ; one who has taken the time to develop his or her subordinate functions, and who is willing to listen to you, and, take you seriously as an ENFP. But understand, that since ENFP's are not *naturally* rational (like the INTJ), if you wish for your relationship to sustain for any amount of time, you have to learn how to argue and debate and communicate in a way that an INTJ can understand. Or maybe you'll be lucky enough to find someone who(m) is willing to learn to talk to you while you learn to talk to them. There can be some serious arguments that can crop up from a fundamental misunderstanding of these two types, and, if ENFP cannot develop a strong argument or an ability to argue logically and objectively, then INTJ will NEVER take ENFP seriously on anything. They will bully you intellectually, try to compartmentalize you socially, and utilize you like a tool in very passive ways that come natural to the INTJ, most INTJ's are natural planners, and even, very capable doers if they have to be. ENFP and most other types (save for maybe INTP and ENTJ) need to be aware of this and offer critical resistance at key points, if not, become capable of fully mounting an INTP-esque counter assault. This is of course, an example of an immature INTJ, I know quite a few, and most of them, (But one in particular who is a close friend... but sometimes I struggle to comprehend why I call him so...) do this very thing when they are young and they are attempting to learn how to deal with people. They try to control them, because people, (certain types in particular are very hard for INTJ's to understand, ENFP of course being one of the most prime of examples,) ENFP will often just do things for the hell of it. INTJ needs logical validation to do anything. The ENFP's willingness to do things on the fly and adapt as the situation comes at them, is something, an INTJ in all plausibility would NEVER be comfortable with. They need a controlled "reality" which is pre-calculated, weighed, measured, and prepared for, all for logical reasons of course, an INTJ would tell you. ENFP does not like being controlled, or told what to do. In fact, I'm betting most ENFP's would agree with me that there is a part of us (even in mature ones) who can still hear that voice of intense resistance in you whenever certain people try to tell you what to do. Mostly, individuals who ENFP subconsciously gather would rather prefer ENFP conform to what their personal idea of how ENFP should act, and try to impose their will on ENFP. ENFP is greatly threatened by this threat, and often will attempt to bypass it with their natural resourcefulness and strong instincts. INTJ however, will try to block this bypass with their natural logic and internal confidence. It then becomes a battle of the Yin and the Yang if these two cannot come to a middle ground. In many ways, if you can make an INTJ/ENFP relationship work it shows extraordinary character and remarkable emotional fortitude on both parties. One could say, if this relationship ever truly becomes a relationship of envy, these two have learned how to in essence make the proverbial gold from lead. In short... It takes alot of growth on both sides. Just be sure your up for the challenge, and that you both really love each other. -- Marty |
A26 I think it have to do with subtypes. Take the INTj  subtype. This means his  is less developed, putting less pressure on the PolR of the ENFp. Also this gives the INTj more energy to develop his Role function  , which makes communication to an ENFP easier. Furthermore when an INTj has a well developed creative function, this gives him more pressure on his PolR and therefore seeks lots of ways to strenghten his mobilizing function  to deal with his PolR issues. This is appealing to the ENFp who has as her dual seeking function. -- Anonymous |
| A27 I used to know an ENFp who had been diagnosed with ADHD and was on meds for that, while in reality he was being a perfectly normal insane Creative subtype. Scary. And INTjs, do you feel that everything the ENFp says you already know or consider as self-evident? Because such happens between me and ISFjs. -- ENFp(H) |
| A28 wat about enfp with infj ?? -- Anonymous |
| A29 "a perfectly normal insane" - kind of an ironic statement, you can't be both perfectly normal and insane. a28 maybe you should look up mirror relations.. it's about 4th best of the 14 relations. -- Anonymous |
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