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Question #1152667477Wednesday, 12-Jul-2006
Category: ENTp Advice
I have read that ENTps, with their weak usually do not hate or like people; they're indifferent with people. I am an ENTp and most of the time, but for the few that I like or dislike, everyone can tell. I can be really nice wtih people I like and for those that I dislike, usually those that have hurt me emotionally, I know I don't want to see/hear/think about them. There was once I had to control myself lest I get too emotional when a lady I don't like was brought up in a gathering. I don't blackmouth people that I don't like, nor do I seek revenge on those that have wronged me, but I could say mean things about them. My previous work environment was not exactly good and working with a group of ESFps and ISFjs, I was quite unhappy at work. I didn't know I hated them until I heard myself say mean things about them with other coworkers. Is this common of ENTps? I know such feelings are legitimate for all types but some types are more prone to such feelings and some less. I am wondering if my feelings are too intense. -- An ENTp
Your Answers: 1+ 16+
A1 I am usually either very impressed by certain people or find people to be fairly uninteresting and therefore worthless to me. Of course I am always overly polite depsite my opinion and have as a result hurt people who took my politeness as a welcome of friendship. Typically my opinion(if poor) is absolutely never brought into the open unless I am under attack. In these instances I lash out with pride and fury and walk away believing I am the winner, which may or may not be true. I also am this way with those I form intimate relations with who hurt me or fail to "provide me with enough closure" or "express their feelings to me genuinely" I have been reckless with my words and immature, attempting to rip away all dignity from under their feet. Yet in the long run I do consider myself a genuinely good person. I keep away from those I do not care for and if they don't bother me I have no reason to hurt them. Most people also would consider me to be a nice guy. But this may change if I decide I don't want them around me anymore. Unlike you, I often entertain fantasies of revenge but rarely have I ever acted out on them. Typically I wind up pleeing for the forgiveness or acceptance by the other person, who usually has been a past love interest. As I have matured I have taught myself to avoid such emotional outbursts and to keep away from those that cause stress(usually romantic relations) while I am dealing with more important obligations. The best and most humorous people I have found to be around, and which help quell emotional outbursts(but are prone to them themselves)are from within the same quadra. But even this can be bad if there is a mix of genders, because then there is "love" or "sexual feelings" which which lead to competition and which no intertype relation can tame.
So to answer you, no I do not think you are at all too emotional or "emotionally immature" because I have been much worse. I am only now learning to control myself. Consider yourself well balanced, could be much worse. -- Another ENTp
A2 Actually, I believe that ENTp's really like people until they get the vibe that someone doesn't like their ideas. Few things frustrate me more than when my brother (ESTp) gets mad at me (ENTp) for always talking about theories. As long as friends do not openly deride or negelect the "big picture," I believe most ENTp's really love them. -- JReed
A3 If ENTP's can't stand someone, we lay it on thick(sometimes without being aware of it). We can tell easily if this person is worth the time. -- Anonymous
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A4 That is a fascinating question, I've never really thought about that aspect of ENTps but it's true, they can seem to be indifferent to people. If you want an ENTp to like you I've found that listening to them works well - although that applies to every type - and if you think they're funny that's also a plus. Your question seems to ask the opposite side of the issue, how do ENTps make people like them? Career choice could be part of that, I see nothing but the big picture yet have to work very hard doing detail-oriented work to keep my boat afloat. It would be nice to have some place to go where people discuss lofty ideas and the big picture (one of the many attractions of socionics and this message board on socionics.com), so even if you (we) can't find that in a job you still have the other 128 hours in the week to enjoy other activities and make new friends. Not to paint everyone with the same brush, but I think ENTps are cool! :^) -- econdude
A5 I like most people until they hurt me. Then I can't stand them and will talk **** about them endlessly. -- ENTp
A6 I like everybody and that 'we like you more than you think we do' is true for me. That is, until someone does something nasty to me or says something or gives me a good reason to not want to ever see them again. That said, there have been a few people who just rubbed me the wrong way, who I couldn't stand. Rather than doing anything about it, I choose to avoid those as much as possible. -- --jess
A7 I agree with A5. I'm like this too. Except that somehow everyone knows that I dislike the person whom i dislike. About the original post, I do get irritated when someone I dislike is brought to a social gathering. Used to be worse. -- an ENTp
A8 I act indifferent, and make it very obvious... that way people have to try really hard if they want me to make them feel special. However, if someone were to do this, I get both bored and scared to the point where I distance myself before my percieved freedom is snatched from me. Lol i'm entp and that may or may not have made sense... Basically, I have a hard time deciding who I spend time with, and the people who want to spend time with me I lose interest quickly. If you are offended by that, the further I'll push you away. Wow I'm a jerk haha! But I LOVE everyone that I meet unless they are intentionally cruel. -- popcorn
A9 "I keep away from those I do not care for and if they don't bother me I have no reason to hurt them." Hit the nail right on the head, A1. I only attack when attacked and when I do - its glorious. Other wise why concern yourself with people you don't like? And you really have to be a real ass-hat for me not to despise you. As long as you have not outwardly wronged me chances are I'll be pretty indifferent towards you. -- Anonymous
A10 I have the problem of telling people straight up that i don't like them but usually i am completely oblivious of people until they impress me or appear stupid.those are the main categories i use for people i guess. -- Anonymous
A11 You have it down for me. I like to think I like most people, but indifferent also works. I wish more people in the world were like that, would of made high school so much better. -- Anonymous
A12 If I like people, that is if they have impressed me in any way, I'll compliment them for the reasons to do so, in a very appreciating way of expression. That is not to please the person as such, but merely the pleasant surprise in discovering and recognising traits I find highly desirable and unusual. On the other hand, if they supply me with discoveries on the bad end of the trait scale, with me as a target of opportunity, I'll initially countermove. If we achieve an agreement however, then the situation is reset, even initiating respect if the efforts on the other party's behalf were admirable in the process. However though, if these poor qualities are emulated further, the nature of interaction will be graded from indifference to condescence, depending on the severity of the consequences. People on the indifference part will be accepted as a co-citizen, but not even remotely considered as included anylonger. Anyone on the condescence part of the grading are considered as something on the other end of a burned bridge. People in this cathegory are seldom talked about, the mere existence of their traits and their consequences, depress and uninspires me, and bringing such up in conversation serves me equally. I consider them as sand in a system of cogwheels, and something that optimally needs to be flushed out. I can't do that, which is also uninspiring to recognise, so the best exit is to act and think of it as something annoying in a closed drawer. The people that have impressed me though, will be brought up in conversation to anyone and everyone in highly positive terms. -- ENTp
A13 well, as an entp, i can say that just isn't true. Not only do I like and dislike many people, i know it within the first moments of my meeting them. It could be from the way they hold them self of how they say things or even if they did or didn't say something. all entps iv ever met say to have this ability. in fact, its known that we do this. so not liking or disliking anyone seem contradicting right off the bat. and remember that your personality is just the foundation of self you were born with, its life that shapes and puts on the finishing touches so maybe the answer to your second question has nothing to do with any 4 letters... -- Anonymous
A14 A-13 quoted "Not only do I like and dislike many people, i know it within the first moments of my meeting them. It could be from the way they hold them self of how they say things or even if they did or didn't say something." Is'nt this strange? I have wondered more than once why it is so. And my closest approximation so far , is that we obviuosly notice all of the even minute cues, tie them together if congruent, and recognising in what direction the whole package goes. And everything usually go so fast that no conscious analyse is going on. I must confess that I am quite impressed by this ability. Shamelessly admitted. Or should I say, thankful of the privilege. It is a huge asset. -- ENTp
A15 I love everybody and I don't care if they surprise me or not, because I know what to expect from them, so it's hsrd to surprise me at all. If somebody is enemy to me, I know it from the beginning to the same end. If somebody is s friend then I know it also. If somebody is a real enemy, then I try to resolve the problem. With proper understanding of the other person it's quite easy to make a happy relationship. -- Me, the ENTp
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