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Question #1149118679Wednesday, 31-May-2006
Category: INTj INFj Relationship Advice
I think I am a male INTj (), and I'm considering a relationship with a woman I think is an INFj (). I have read the description of the Look-a-like Relationship, and it seems fine, but I would think there would be more negative elements, since it isn't one of the best 4 types of relationships. Does anyone have any comments or warnings? -- INTj
Your Answers: 1+
A1 My agnate grandparents were INTj(male)-INFj(female). They liked each other. As a social sciences nerd I'm lucky to have realized that sometimes with this type of question (who should I marry, be friends with, any people issues) that although you shouldn't ignore the left-brained stuff, sometimes it's better to throw it out the window. -- econdude
A2 I am an INFj gal and my best friend is INTj.... despite a ten year age difference and despite the fact that we are not sole mates, the waters of mutual love, respect, frienship, and open communication run very deep .... and this ='s a safe, caring, and loyal connection till we are old farts ) -- nerdgrrrrl
A3 As an INFj with best friends who are INTjs, I have some experience in the look-alike relationship. The site's description is fairly accurate of the look-alike relationship. Even though it's not one of the top 4 recommended relationships, it would probably be 5th. Look-alikes have a very easy time conversing and spending time with each other, which is the greatest positive the relationship type has to offer. Look-alikes are NEVER tired out by each other's company and if there's any mutual attraction or points of interests, you'll usually have a relationship that gets along very well. If you lack either of those things in the relationship, than you may find that your relationship may be a little unfufilling or stagnant as it might not have a reason to progress to a much deeper level. I would go for the relationship, as finding a look-alike who is attracted to you or interested in your activities can be personally rewarding. -- - Nada (INFj)
A4 yeah i was wondering the same thing.. i like an intj male and im infj ... -- Anonymous
A5 There is a decent chance some of these INTj Male's are INFj. Society doesn't really let men be emotional. I'm INFj and I NEVER show emotion in public, I even have a really hard time showing it in front of my wife whom I trust completely. I would guess the main difference you'd notice would be that INFj's go with the flow a little bit more than INTj's, also it says in the description of INTj's that they deliberately anger people to get them to tell the truth, an INFj isn't as likely to do that. -- Azure
A6 I was wrong in A1 about my grandfather's type, so throw that out. I've been working one cube down from an INFj female for the last seven months and she absolutely drives me up the wall, I don't think type should be determinant of everything in a romantic relationship but practically speaking INTj-INFj has obstacles. Another problem is being absolutely sure of each person's type when you're thinking about relationships. -- econdude (INTj)
A7 In the long run, INTJ tends to hurt INFJ's feelings... I have one of my best friends a female INFJ who's in a relationships for over 10 years with an INTJ and although they really love each other, it's really hard for her to feel emotionally understood and supported... -- enfp
A8 I really wouldn't worry about personality types when it comes to finding a mate. As long as you both love each other, take the time to understand one another, and understand your own limitations, you should do fine. No mating is an ideal mating, you just muddle through with you got. One nice thing about INTJs is that we self-analyze a lot, and we're very focused. Make your mate one of your projects. Analyze how you're behaving, and if you're being good enough for her needs. You'll be fine. -- Anonymous
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A9 all i can say is that the friendship of intj and infj is really fulfilling. my best guy friend is an intj (im a female infj) and for the last couple of months we have been talking almost every day about everything under the sun. i have been thinking of asking him out, as he is one of the most interesting people i have ever met. however i never do because of my intense fear of rejection. i agree that one should not take these types too serious, because any relationship can work - it just depends on how much both partners are committed to it. up until now this intj has also not managed to hurt my feelings directly. i have read the socionics relation descriptions and i must say a look-a-like relation seems to me to be more fulfilling than a relation of duality or a relation of activity. i have also found that these relation descriptions are not always very accurate in describing relationships. so i wouldnt worry about the types too much, since most people are mixed types anyway. good luck! -- INFJ
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