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Question #1134402610Monday, 12-Dec-2005
Category: ENFp ESTp Relationship Advice
i, an ENFP, often have trouble interacting with ESTPs. I seem to get along with the rest of the artisans, but ESTPs and I usually have electricity - but of the kind that causes repulsion not attraction. can you help shed light upon this situation and provide possible solutions, remedies, or suggestions? Thank you. -- jared
Your Answers: 1+
A1 ESTp ENFp ENES IFIT ESEN ITIF You can see from these functions, that your ego block, the first two function, the ones which are the most highly developed and with which you are mostconfident, with clashes with an ESTps super-ego block. This makes him feel irritated, possibly because he is defenseless against your functional influence of EN and IF, which you naturally exert. As long as he is in your company, he could possibly feel as if he's being watched, and simply put it, very powerless. Now the thing is, his strongest two functions also relate in the same manner to yours. Electricity ,as you've so rightly put it, from each of your two strongest functions, will repel each other often and naturally, and that friction will drive you both insane. I have no solution to this, but here's some good news. Your ego functions are consciously controllable. Halting it's flow may ease tension. That's theoretical. I don't know how to do that either. Hope you'll find a way to work it out -- LoveSeeker
A2 Yeah, ESTps have in their ego, and you have . Basically, when you're using your base function (Ne), you're constantly putting pressure on the ESTp's role function, which is also Ne. On the other hand, when the ESTp is using their base function (Se), it's hitting your role function, causing tension in both ways. Same goes for when you and the ESTps use your creative functions, as they hit one another's PoLRs. Check this out: I find it difficult to be around ENFps myself, being ESTp, so it's definately not one-sided. I'm not really sure how to help with this, other than what I've told you so far, considering that I don't know these people IRL. Good luck. -- Krauss (ESTp)
A3 As an ENFP, I've had a few ESTP friends. There are some sources of conflict - most of the time its centered around me perceiving the ESTP to be a little short sighted, not seeing how their actions affect and effect those around them - how one action can cause ripples which change future relationships. I perceive it as the ESTP not wanting to be inconvenienced and thinking that certain rules do not apply to them. However, I'm just as susceptible to break rules or guidelines, but for different reasons. -- KML, ENFP
A4 I get along very well with ENFps. -- FDG (ESTp)
A5 I just found out that my girlfriend is an ESTP, I'm an ENFP, is a perfect combination in fact, balance and cooperation when we need each other. She understands me a lot. -- Rick ENFP
A6 I was surprised at this post... I am ENFp and get along quite well with the few ESTp's I've known. My best friend of 12 years is ESTp (we are both female). When we were teenagers there was some tension, she was more dominant and bossy. Once we became adults we evened out and the relationship is great. I'm now great friends with a male ESTp and am finding some deeper attraction to him. -- Anonymous
A7 Male ESTp's might think you are too feminine, and therefore don't respect you. -- Anonymous
A8 When I was much younger two of my friends were ESTp and ENFp. They were friends, but seemed to squabble a lot. The ESTp-ENFp match is probably best when they use teamwork. One time the ESTp held an INTp's wrists at a desk in school who they were picking on while the ENFp was singing "connect the dots" and drawing lines with a pen between the zits on the INTp's face. -- econdude
A9 hahahahahahahah i am an estp and the bully story is hilarious! -- Dusty
A10 The ENFp in A8 is actually an INFp, now that I've thought about it more. But I'm sure about ESTp and the story is true. A better example of duality than the ENFp-ESTp intertype relations, unfortunately. I would still agree with my original assertion, that two people using teamwork can smooth over a lot of problems you might predict with socionics, be it super-ego or any other type of intertype relations. I was huge friends at work with an older woman from Asia with super-ego relations, in my opinion, but I think a lot of that is the differences in cultural expectations actually mitigated the potential friction of the relationship. -- econdude
A11 For two people in the Super-Ego relation, it is extremely difficult to get closer to each other and to avoid nervous tension, as A1 and A2 described. This relationship can actually be draining for both parties, sometimes for no obvious reason, which makes it even more difficult. I used to live in one flat with an ENTp. We admired each other, and we never quarrelled or anything, but the ways of our communication and what we expected from people was so different that we both ended up mentally and physically exhausted. What has worked for me is to avoid seeing each other very often and to behave in an officially friendly manner. -- Ezis (ESFp)
A12 I am an ENFp (female), and my best friend (male) is an ESTp. We actually understand each other great! Our biggest problem is that we do bicker and pick on each other a lot-which has been described by some of our other friends as "sexual tension." Although I understand how his mind works, it is still hard for me to deal with his ego, and it has taken us a few years to get to the balance we enjoy now. -- Anonymous
A13 I am an ENFP dating an ESTP, and it has been a good experience. We have major electricity, but in a good way. I just got out of a 12 year marriage with another ENFP, so this has been quite a change. There's not the deep analysis of everything...its just more "in the moment" fun. I find that his P and my P work well together. Neither of us wants to get tied down with plans. Of course, this means that we are often getting together at the last minute with no sense of where to eat at 11 pm. He also has a tendency to be a rule-breaker, but ENFPs are rule breakers in their own way, so this appeals to me. I guess I would say the one strange thing is that I've never met a guy who spends more time on the phone (calling, texting, etc) than me... -- Bee, ENFP
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A14 I'm a male ESTP and my girlfriend is ENFP. It's the best relationship i ever had. We respect each other, talk or play a lot, and learn from each other - especially me because of her intelligent/creative ideas - and never get bored. -- Anonymous
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