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| Question #1122527395 | Thursday, 28-Jul-2005 |
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| I'm an ENFP and at the end of last year I went crazy for an INFJ. As you can probably imagine we got on incredibly well but I smothered her a bit so she ended up saying she wasn't sure if we would work out. I'm talking to her again now and she's friendly etctetera...but my question is, being an INFJ- do they go back? How should i best approach this? I'm tempted to say something but I don't want to smother her. Not necessarily a relationship of duality, no, but we both know that we were really close and it'd be a shame to throw it out. I love idealists! -- lostenfp
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Your Answers: 1+ |
| A1 eh, I think INFJs are usually pretty nice, almost too nice, which is their main problem in life. I dunno, maybe I see them that way cause my mom's one, but from what I've seen they like to do the whole "talk about the problem" thing and then they go back to normal. my mom's friendly to everyone except for those who she considers "wrong" or "unethical" so I'd say that as long as you stop smothering her you'll be fine. If an INFJ thinks you've wronged them they'll try to make you feel bad for them and as an ISTP I can't stand this behavior, it seems manipulitive, but hey whatever floats your boat. -- Woodrow |
| A2 Presuming that you're talking about an INFj (and not an INFJ), she is your mirror partner. The two you should get on quite well, as this is one of the most compatible relationships you can have. I'm not sure what you mean by "go back." If you mean is it possible to re-establish good relations with her? then yes. If you mean, could she end up feeling smothered again? then that too is very likely. My advice, take a chill pill. Don't be such chatty dervish of activity. (I know ENFp's can be, I was married to one.) Realize that your strengths are similar but your processes are completely different. You create an ethos to match the possibilities you see in your head. Whereas, she comprehends what is possible based upon an ethos that is already exists. Don't be constantly trying to ammend the structure of your relationship. To her said structure is fixed and should be counted upon. -- Anonymous |
| A3 As an enfp I can relate to the smothering. I think it is really based on the lack of other interesting things in your life. It is also symptomatic when we are in new relationships, because we are truly facinated with people and more so with those we like or love. I am sure the smothering will soon go away. True to enfp type you will buzz for something new i.e. some hobby, idea, project etc. and put all your thought and energy into that new thing. -- Anonymous |
| A4 its always possible to "go back" with an infj. Just slow down and let her catch up...and then go on their pace. INFJs dont like to be rushed into things -- Anonymous |
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A5 yeah, i love ENFps..i'm an infj and I'm in love with one... hehe. Be nice to her and give her some space to be independent and she'll always come back to you  . -- paranormal |
A6 Really difficult one to approach, do you think it's possible to talk to her about how you feel? ENFp's are better at that than I  -- ISTp |
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