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Question #1103068655Tuesday, 14-Dec-2004
Category: Duality Intertype Relations Models
If we all have dual seeking functions why does it happen more often that people end up with a conflicting partner? I've also noticed many will go for an activity partner before even thinking of a dual. -- Anonymous
Your Answers: 1+
A1 It is true that people sometimes end up in Conflicting relations, partially because "opposites attract", partially because your Conflicting type is an inverted version of your Activity partner. And in Activity relations, because of particular inter-function engagement, Dual-seeking functions receive more stimulation in comparison with the relations of Duality. But it is not true that people end up with Conflicting partner more often. -- Admin
A2 I believe conflicting relations are actually one of "likes attracting likes". Two people who are each missing something that they can get from their "opposite". Two people who have slid along the scale of healthy to unhealthy. They are the alike in this sense. As each learns from the other(possibly on a subconscious level), they will discover what it is they lack within themselves. A balance would occur. They would move on to seek a healthy relationship of duality after this discovery, unless they are really ready to take on the work of keeping a conflicting relationship intact. -- aj
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A3 I agree with A2. My sister's husband is my conflict and after experiencing lots of intimate time speaking with him, I realized there was something missing in me, like stability, and responsibility. I became very self-critical and began trying to figure out how I could fix myself, which has led me to personality theory, which led me to try to find someone who would actually accept me, and who I could just be comfortable around. At the moment, I have 3 ISTp close friends, one of which I'm dating. I'm not really sure how it's going to go though, because it's been really intense, but it's been definitely a challenge for me to grow as a person, and I think it will continue to be a challenge. I kind of am not sure if I'm ready to go through this. I know that he hasn't told me he loves me, but he's mentioned the possibility that we could have a future together-and this was just a month after we started dating. -- Anonymous
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