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Question #1103052563Tuesday, 14-Dec-2004
Category: Advice
Hello, I am an introvert looking to become outgoing is there any advice on how this could be accomplished? Thank you. -- Anonymous
Your Answers: 1+
A1 Hello "introvert." I think it depends on what you mean by "outgoing." There are many kinds of extraversion, all of which have their own characteristics, you just have to figure out which is best suited for you. As an INTj, my extraverted side is of an intuitive nature, and because it is my secondary, creative function, it functions in spontaneous way. Often I feel like being around others when there is no one around, and vice versa, and it's really not something that I try to consciously control. All that aside, I think the best course of action is to find extraverted situations in which you feel comfortable, and force yourself to immerse yourself in them more often than you might be inclined normally. And once in those situations, don't be afraid to sit back and observe others, and listen to conversations without speaking. Don't force yourself to "extravert" until it comes naturally. If you put yourself in the right company, and the right social gathering enough times, you will learn what things stimulate your extraverted side and then seek those out, and avoid those that make you feel overly timid and shy until you feel VERY comfortable (you don't want to intimidate yourself early on). Most people (jerks aside) won't hold it against you if you are reserved at first, as long as you are friendly in the end. -- Anonymous
A2 I agree with the comment from the INTJ. An extravert loves a hearing ear. By showing friendliness and interest in others you will be very popular without expending too much energy. I know INFps and ISFjs that are in high demand because of their understanding and kind manners. It's a little more difficult if you are a introverted thinker but personally as an extravert myself I love these type as they give me good advice and are often sarcastic, witty and non-threatening. Find an extravert that can help introduce you to a large society but that also understands your boundaries. ENFPs are good to start with if you can find one. They love everybody (well almost everybody). -- Anonymous
A3 The introvert looking to improve upon his extroverted skills will do well to read the book by Dale Carnegie called "How to Win Friends and Influence People," as well as a book called "Selling Yourself." Pay especially close attention to the parts about listening. I'm an INFP, but have started to become very comfortable in social situations - because unbelievably, I don't have to say anything! I can just listen and people think I'm a good conversationalist. Unbelievable. However, very true, at least for me. I'd start with Carnegie's book first. -- Anonymous
A4 That Dale Carnegie book is not worth the paper it is written on. Just another exceedingly irritating American self-help guide to wannabe salesmen containing nothing but self-evident platitudes. And please do not turn this site into yet another overtly commercial book promotion site. I know you will not publish this so it would be nice if another medium for socionics related discussion could be made available. -- Anonymous
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A5 Be comfortable around large groups of people, and don't be afraid to introduce yourself, if you get nervous take deep breaths and breath by expanding your stomach and not your chest, this leads to less anxiety. -- Anonymous
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