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ENFp Uncovered
by David Rosenfield
Like the ENTp, the ENFp is driven by an overwhelming desire for
attention and to be liked. Unlike the ENTp, the ENFp is not naturally
rational and objective in his outlook. Where the ENTp calculates and
plots to get what he wants, the ENFp acts on impulse and gut feeling.
While this gut feeling is often ... correct, especially when it comes to
their near-psychic ability to understand the feelings and motivations
of others, it leaves them utterly without direction and purpose:
ending relationships, burning bridges, and finding "greener pastures"
whenever their current situations becomes frustrating. And when the
ENFp is not the center of attention, or is not completely loved and
adored, they become very frustrated.
The ENFp has an uncanny ability to make new friends, learn new skills,
and thrive in unfamiliar situations. But usually this ability only
applies superficially. He's great at making new friends, but he won't
know how to deal with the first challenging obstacle in a
relationship. He's great at learning the rudiments of a new skill,
but when it comes to diligently mastering the finer points, the ENFp
becomes bored and frustrated. Thus, he tends to be ping-pong ball,
bouncing from job to job, career to career, relationship to
relationship, possessing a large circle of acquaintances but few, if
any, truly intimate friends.
Because the ENFp has come to be thought of, and to think of himself
as, a jack of all trades, a renaissance man, and the life of any
party, he has little patience for criticism - either professionally or
in relationships. When criticized, he will tend to pass the blame on
someone else. In the interpersonal sphere, he'll use his amazing gift
for communication to "rally support," gaining sympathy from all of his
friends and turning them against YOU. In extreme cases, where
weaseling won't absolve him of criticism, he'll disparage himself,
telling everyone that he is good for nothing and really to blame for
every problem in the relationship or the company. This is actually
his strategy for easily getting out of situations that no longer feed
his ego. If he can get fired, dumped, deported, or excommunicated, it
will be his perfect excuse for jumping to the next new! exciting!
thing that has grabbed his attention.
If you have an important ENFp in your life, you must take all care to
make him feel like the most important person in the world. You must
keep life constantly evolving, constantly exciting. The exotic
possibilities are always going to be more interesting to him than the
mundane realities. You also must allow him to get "on stage" as much
as possible: whether that involves taking him out for karaoke,
encouraging him to join the local theater troop, or, in the case of
female ENFps, allowing them to participate in "amateur night" at the
gentleman's club. If you don't like high-maintenance people, you
should probably stay far away.
ENFp Uncovered: written by an ENFp
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C1 Aren't the Uncovered Profiles supposed to be a more negative description of one's type? This article could really use a sprinkle or two of some classic INTj sarcasm. That surely would give it the punch it needs. -- Peter |
C2 That's not true. I like this description of ENFp. I actually start feeling a lot better now. -- Darryl |
C3 I think that ENFPs are particularly prone to histrionic personality disorder- which would explain the constant need for external validation and attention. Most of the time though, the ENFP's gut judgments are NOT accurate- rather they suffer from a lack of impulse control. I also tend to think this type has the most problems with excessive binge eating. -- FriendtoENFPs |
C4 Yeah!! (applause) I'm so happy that there's another "Uncovered" profile. Those are my favorite. Many thanks to the writer. This was kewl. -- g-rat |
C5 I think this article definatly makes some intuitive points, however I very much disagree with the statements that ENFPs have a hard time making close friends and that ENFPs have high maitenence standards. The concept of ENFPs being rennaisance men who have trouble commiting to the dull process of mastering skills is correct, but the same does not apply to friendships because ENFPs motivation for relationships is to become closer to people. I'm an ENFP and if I do like more attention than most, than I would prefer sincere attention from being close to my friends than superficial attention. -- Amanda |
C6 Gentleman's club? This may be uncovered, but come on. That's just degrading, sexist, and stupidly patriarchal. The ENFP's judgments actually are pretty accurate; it makes them highly manipulative. I also disagree with the "hard time making close friends" statement. -- Jacqueline |
C7 I agree wholeheartedly with Peter - this "uncovered" is far too tame and obliging. Bring on the INTj sarcasm! -- Anonymous |
C8 That's pretty accurate. My boss is just like that and it's so easy to please him. Just givehim a compliment or two and he'll forgt the huge mistake you just made and give you a raise! -- Marika, ENTP |
C9 I disagree that an ENFP is seeking a partner that is constantly evolving the relationship and keeping it interesting. In fact, I think an ENFP would find this threatening because it makes them feel boring. Most ENFPs I know end up with more calm, subtle types such as ISFJs, INTJ, ISTJs and sometimes ISTPs. Someone who does not steal the limelight or step on their oh-so-exciting toes. Someone they can sweep off their feet. I am an INFP (slightly expressed T) and I find ENFPs as the most obnoxious type. A key difference betweeen INFPs and ENFPs is the constant "look-at-me!!" behavior. -- RG |
C10 I cannot hardly wait for ESFj Uncovered. Now only if a certain INTj we all know would marshall the motivation to finish them all... -- Peter |
C11 I'm a bit surprised at this, as I hardly agree with any of it. I'm an ENFp, but I can't say that I'm high maintenance... I'm on the of easiest people to deal with b/c of my consistently high spirits. I'm happy almost no matter what. I do agree that I'm a jack of all trades, though, and a renaissance man... I juggle 100 skills that I'm pretty good at, but master of few. Still, though, I don't think this is too accurate for ENFp's. We're not all that flakey. -- Anonymous |
C12 "Look at me" behavior is ESFp. "Like me" behavior is ENFp. There is a huge difference between the two. I don't know a single ENFp who would strip for attention, but I know 2 ESFp's who DO, for free and just for fun. This description is blurring the line between these two types, in several areas. -- Unimpressed |
C13 C5 and C11: From my perspective as an ENFj, the high maintenence part comes from what I hate most- saying you will do one thing, but changing your mind on a new whim, which throws everythign else off. It drove me so up the wall with my ENFp friend that I just decided to quit talking to her because she had ruined a few days. I complained to an ENFp friend about it (she knows MBTI) and she said, "Well, Im an ENFp. I do it too." omg! re: relations. They like to have a lot of variation of people around. They really do get bored that easy. I have heard multiple complaints in various forums of, "Theyre great people, but you never feel like youre the center of their full attention when with them." I think, though, that as a collectivist quadra, they have some adherence towards people. But from my perspective I think it is more large scale like society or family since adhering to any singular anything makes them feel trapped. -- Jadae |
C14 somewhat true, somewhat not, my g/f of 2 years is ENFP, and I am INFP, I would say when I have her attention I have it all; otherwise quite well written and likewise for mine. For us the trouble is deciding on things, as we're both prone to take a very long time making our minds up about virtually everything. -- Anonymous |
C15 I understand the uncovered articles are suppose to be the more negative aspects of a type, but I also expected more accuracy than this. The comments so far have been pretty mixed and I can definitely understand peoples frustrations with ENFp's excitment-seeking and indecisive ways. I am an ENFp and those things are definitely problems in my life I am working on, as well as organization, maintaining touch with a large group of friends and making time for everyone, getting past buying the guitar and the learning the first 20 songs, avoiding procrastination, and maintaining a consistent self-concept. Also, regulating my characteristic overwhelming enthusiasm and instant, impulsive excitabilities. I think the misconception here is in the intention. I was appalled with the points about "weasling" out of things and others' criticism. ENFp's are very self-critical and strive for self-awareness so they could already be aware of these criticisms. Since they seek to give and recieve affirmation, having an outside source confirm negative opinions of themself could be the reason they appear to "disparage" themselves. I don't know about other ENFp's, but when I feel useless, that's just it, it is definitely not an attempt to gain attention. Negative attention just isn't my thing, furthermore, I don't consider criticism negative. Also, ENFp's gain a lot of satisfaction from helping others realize their goals and much of their energy is directed outward. I agree with C5, C12 and C14. For me the biggest misunderstanding is the implied generalized selfish and careless motives to their actions. ENFp's have strong values and try to use their natural abilities to help, not hinder. This description sounds like an ex-ENFp who's using their developed social skills and perceptive understanding of others to manipulate their outside world. I think to get to this point, they have lost their sense of self and are buying time seeking meaningless instant-gratification which is UNcharacteristic of true ENFp's. To add, each individual in a type is not the same and your type can't explain all your behaviour. There could be a multitude of influences that make C8's boss such a doormat. I often wonder if it's my ADHD that affects my organization, lack of planning, inattention, and my difficulty maintaining any consistency or schedule. Nevertheless, whether it be disability, pathology or personality, in the end their shouldn't be any excuse. -- 21/ F / ENFp |
C16 Im an enfp and i married an istj if thats not impulsive i dont know what is. -- Anonymous |
C17 I'm an ENFP and so are some of my close friends and I never get bored! I very loyal and devoted and not at all fickle. I still love things I bought ten or more years ago. My tastes don't change, they just expand. This description is really extreme and why is it always 'he'? Is this a description of a male ENFP? I agree with the above poster that we are more likely to go for passive, calming guys than ones who'll sweep us off our feet in a whirlwind of excitement. We need that balance and guys who don't mind slightly bossy women. We do find it hard to keep our mouths shut sometimes because we just KNOW things. I often have friends saying, 'Oh my god, how did you know that?' I don't even know how I know it, though sometimes I can work it out afterwards. An ENFP is hot on intuition in many areas, but sometimes can go wrong in personal relationships if too involved - or they will see a person's potential rather than their reality, which can have dire consequences if you trust them too much. -- RubyENFP |
C18 Superb. alongside with ENTp uncovered, it is arguably the most accurate of them all, so far. -- Nemrut, ENTp |
C19 This sounds more like ENTp or ENxp gone bad. Where is the influence of Introverted Feeling? -- Anonymous |
C20 yeah this is a description of an incredibly immature enfp..for the rest of them, it's not that accurate. -- Anonymous |
C21 Sounds like a classic enfp in their teens. A lot of development and maturity takes place in the early to late 2O's... -- Anonymous |
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