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Impressions of an ESFj
by I/O

She tries to control her immediate situation and environment in order to assure success or security, and she feels most happy and secure when everything and everybody is under control. She's very interactive with people and things around her, and is usually very upbeat and tactile as if she wants immediate and ...
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Your Comments: 1+
C1 You are here very well describing the only one ESFj I know, our 31 years old first daughter who came back to us after her divorce. However our daughter is much more egocentric; when she wants to succeed, everybody has to be her servant and she doesn't care or even despises actual needs of people who are round her. But she is a generous egocentric, she makes many expensive gifts which unfortunately often don't fit as she unconsciously imposes her views of what others'needs have to be. Beside this trait she also worries alot about her health and her external appearance; for instance, she does'nt eat food if it is not of the first and best quality and gives it to us when it is a little too old for her, or she refuses to do housekeeping tasks (like cleaning her room with the vacuum cleaner) as she claims they will damage her back so that her old parents have to do these tasks! -- piccolo_michel
C2 C1, egocentric is a term that I normally associate with IXXj and EXXp because they're usually more intransigent about their conduct and objectives. EXXj and IXXp can have eccentricities like everyone else but I attribute their posturing and bragging more to defences of what they know and to situational control mechanisms, as opposed to fulfilment of internal desires; however, they can become very egocentric when stressed or feeling vulnerable such as after a divorce. -- I/O
C3 Doesn't sound like the ESFjs I know. -- Anonymous
C4 P_S: As my wife's type is ENFp and mine ISTp our reaction to our ESFj daughter can better be explained. She is my wife's benefactor and my supervisor. Our daughter tries to control everything in our life, inclusive the way we look at our health and imposes her way, what is opposite to our strong need of independency she can't understand. This situation is very unsatisfying for us as my wife and I are without defense and of course our daughter doesn't get recognition for what she does. Asymmetrical intertype relations are very difficult, particularly when they go against an usual hierarchy. -- piccolo_michel
C5 C4, my daughter has a type that's supposed to be supervisor to my type. She does not try to supervise me because she views me as having had much, much more success when I was at her age. However, she has never once listened to my advice; she listens to her mother's advice who is her supervisory type, which has gotten her into huge amounts of difficulty several times. It seems that supervisees hear what they want to hear from supervisor types; it supports what they really want to do deep down, whether it be a sound decision or not. In your case, agreement likely revolves around shared values - the Si that you need rationalized from a Fe perspective to confirm what you have already concluded but was unsure about acting upon it. -- Anonymous
C6 This is what you do: Act like you have no idea how to take care of yourself and put up with her crazy when shes sad cook with her and watch movies from her childhood make her feel needed and verbally praise her for specific tasks so pretty much be an intj -- Anonymous
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